


Come a Little Closer

by okiwomanofletters



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (me looking at kuron and lotor: YEET), Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, broganes, matt holt is a disaster bi someone help that boy, pre s6 and mix between s4 and s5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-30 16:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15100472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okiwomanofletters/pseuds/okiwomanofletters
Summary: “Matt is our Science Officer and Communications Specialist. He is the Green Paladin’s older brother.” Allura says.“He is also the Black Paladin’s husband.”wait whatMatt can feel all eyes swivel onto him, and he knows that his face is growing redder by the second.Allura just introduced ME to the QUEEN OF A PLANET as SHIRO’S HUSBANDWHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not only is this my first work in Voltron, but also my first chaptered fic ever?? im losin my fanfiction virginity here
> 
> also this is absolutely unbeta'd so lemme know if you see any mistakes. enjoy the shatt!! (best ship name ever)

The thing is, Matt had been doing just fine until he had got Pidge’s message.

It was Voltron’s first day in negotiations with the Vesi, an ancient race of people who lived in what even the Galra would consider the “Outer Rim” of the universe. Their distant location and lack of exploitable resources meant the planet had remained virtually untouched by the universe’s largest douchebags, but Allura has insisted that they visit Vesux anyway. The Coalition could always use more allies.

Matt had inwardly lamented the idea of trying to convince the Vesi of joining the Coalition. It wasn’t that he had anything against them, in fact, he didn’t know anything about them. But it felt as if every time they visited another planet, they were getting farther and farther away from Earth. It made him feel a bit guilty to admit that he was homesick. But that sadness was momentarily forgotten when they caught sight of Vesux’s sky.

The sky of this planet was nothing short of beautiful. Allura had stood by with a knowing smile while they had admired the greens and yellows swirling above them.  She had launched into an explanation about how the chemicals in the atmosphere affected what they saw, but while Pidge, Hunk and Lance had eaten it up, Matt would have to admit that he wasn’t really listening.

Shiro had been standing right next to him, eyes focused on the patterns of colors in the air. Matt hadn’t meant to watch him, but the yellows above had made almost a halo effect on Shiro’s face, and he couldn’t look away. Bathed in pastel yellow, it looked like Shiro was glowing. He looked like an angel that had been grounded on Vesux for the sole purpose of this one moment.  

Matt is sure he would have come up with more flowery language to describe his best friend if Pidge hadn’t elbowed him in the ribs. They had wiggled their eyebrows at him suggestively, as if they knew exactly what he was thinking.

God, he hoped they didn’t.

Matt’s crush on Shiro had been going on for years, and he was doing just fine living with that secret alone, thank you very much.

Regardless of his sibling’s steadily increasing teases though, Matt would still come when called. So when Pidge’s whispered message had come through the commlink, he had dropped the Altean physics book he had been reading and immediately picked up.

Matt would rather be caught listening to country music before he admitted it to anyone, but he always kept his commlink close by when they visited new planets. He knew everyone was capable of handling any trouble, but it didn’t stop him from worrying. Ever since he had reunited with Pidge (and effectively become part of this weird space family) he had grown attached to everyone in the castle.

So when he picked up his commlink, he had expected to hear bad news about the negotiations or that someone needed help.

What he didn’t expect was hearing Pidge’s classic snicker come through the line.

“Matt.”

A muffled laugh.

“We’re on our way back to the castle.”

“Okay?” Matt said. “You called in just for that?” He could feel his face scrunch up in confusion.

“Well….” Pidge said, trailing off. Matt would swear on his sibling’s lion he could hear the smirk in their voice.

“The Queen of the Vesi wanted to see the castle up close so she’s traveling with us. Meet us outside of the ship with Coran.”

“Uh, okay. I’ll let Coran know.” Matt replied.

“And Matt?”

“Yeah?”

Another laugh.

“Make it convincing.”

Then the line went dead.

Matt looked back at the commlink like it had insulted his mother. _Make it convincing?_ What the hell was Pidge talking about?

He might almost think that was one of his sibling’s typical pranks, but they knew how important Coalition meetings were. Allura would never forgive them for ruining relationships like this over a laugh.

Matt shrugged to himself. He could handle whatever it was Pidge was hinting at. Years of being out in space had honed his reflexes and years of hiding his crush on Shiro had sharpened his acting. He could do this.

…

Probably.

 

\--

 

They had only been standing outside the castle for maybe five minutes when the paladins came into view.

Matt straightened himself and did his best to brush off some of the dust that had accumulated on his clothes. He never got sent out to take part in these kinds of missions. Politics was strictly a Paladin sort of thing, and a thin human with no real connection to the lions wasn’t how you convinced aliens to fight a war.

Matt is sure that him and Coran look like a very poor welcoming party, but the Queen doesn’t seem to mind. She looks to be in a very enthusiastic conversation with Hunk and Allura, who are leading the group. They’re still far away enough that Matt can study the Queen without looking too obvious. He doesn’t mean to stare, but he’s never seen a Vesi before. By all means, she looked human from the waist up. A slim torso that was covered by what he would call a crop top, and arms similar to his own. Her dark blue hair almost hid the two antenna-like protrusions near her forehead. Past the stomach, her shape turned more into that of a thick blob. Matt would probably compare her lower half to that of a slug; she didn’t have any feet, simply gliding across the ground.  

But she seemed to be keeping good pace with the rest of the group. Lance and Pidge were walking slightly behind the trio, and even from this distance Matt can see the grins on their faces. Tucked away in the back, he can just see the black of Shiro’s armor behind the Queen, and he assumes Keith is there too.

This formation is the first indicator to Matt that something is slightly off. Even if he doesn’t realize it, Shiro had a habit of walking ahead of the team. He had done it on Kerberos with Matt too. He always took the first step, as if making sure things were safe for those who followed.

But Matt doesn’t have time to figure out what’s wrong because the group is quickly standing right before him.

Hunk’s conversation with the Queen comes to a halt as Allura directs their attention to Matt and Coran. Matt doesn’t dare look at Pidge’s face in case he messes this up.

_Make what convincing?_

The Queen looks away from Hunk to take in the view of the castle.

“How fascinating.” She says, a squeak in her voice. “It has been a long time since I have set sights on anything Altean. The craftsmanship is admirable.”

Coran straightens up next to Matt at the compliment, beaming. Allura bows her head, a small smile on her face.

“You are too kind your Majesty.” She replies.

The Queen’s eyes slide down from the ship onto Matt, and he suppresses a shiver. Her eyes are bright yellow, matching the sky, and bore into him like he’s a puzzle to solve.

_What had Pidge gotten him into?_

“Allow me to introduce our remaining crew, Queen Yerse.”

Allura takes the few steps forward necessary to slot herself between Matt and Coran.

“Coran is my Royal Advisor and the Helmsman of the Castleship. It was his grandfather that originally built it, and he continues to keep it in proper order.”

Coran takes a step forward to bow to the Queen.

“It is an honor to be on Vesux once again your Majesty. It is just as beautiful as I remember it being when I was a lad.” Coran says, a twinkle in his eye.

Queen Yerse laughs at his words, but still makes a return bow to Coran.

Allura turns her body towards Matt.

“Matt is our Science Officer and Communications Specialist. He is the Green Paladin’s older brother.”

_Okay, this wasn’t so bad_

“He is also the Black Paladin’s husband.”

_wait what_

_WHAT DID ALLURA JUST SAY_

Matt can feel all eyes swivel onto him, and he knows that his face is growing redder by the second.

_HUSBAND_

_Allura just introduced ME to the QUEEN OF A PLANET as SHIRO’S HUSBAND_

_WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK_

What Matt wants to do is turn to Allura and ask her to repeat what she just said.

What he wants to do is run to Shiro, shake him, and ask what happened in the city.

What he wants to do is drop kick Pidge into space for not warning him better.

_“Make it convincing” WHAT KIND OF WARNING WAS THAT_

What Matt ends up doing is taking every ounce of self-control he has to make his body politely step forward and bow to Queen Yerse.

He clears his throat.

“I-It’s an honor to meet you your Majesty.”

All Matt wants to do right now is scream, but apparently that isn’t too obvious on his face, because the Queen bows back. She gives him a warm smile when she stands tall once again.

_Stay cool, you can make this work_

“And it is an honor to meet a fellow mated pair.”

_mATED PAIR_

Matt might faint.

“It is a relief for me to see that despite all our differences, there are some cultural notions that are constant throughout the universe.” said Queen Yerse.

From his left, Matt can swear he hears Pidge snicker. He ignores them and allows his gaze to fall on Hunk and Lance on his right. It’s a mistake, because they don’t seem to be doing any better. Hunk has a hand up to cover his smile, and Lance seems like he’s barely holding it together. Matt might even say there are tears in his eyes.

From behind the Queen, there is movement.

Shiro steps forward, paladin armor gleaming in the yellow light. His eyes are locked on Matt, as if he’s trying to tell him everything through just one gaze.

But even thought Matt has known Shiro for years, he can’t fully decipher this look.

Part apologetic, part embarrassed, and part something Matt can’t put his finger on.

Shiro moves past the Queen and places himself on Matt’s left, parallel to Allura.

He carefully slots their hands together.

Matt breaks out into a sweat.

“I’m glad to know that my husband and I can bring you comfort on this your Majesty.” Shiro says with a smile. “My apologies for not telling you earlier in the negotiations. We are never sure as to how… kindly people may be towards us.”

Matt is absolutely lost as to what is happening but Queen Yerse nods, as if what Shiro has said makes sense.

“I understand Black Paladin. Please be rest assured that you are free to be with your mate on Vesux.”

Shiro smiles at the Queen again, and that’s when Matt remembers that he’s supposed to make this look real.

He tightens his grip on Shiro’s hand and smiles at him. Shiro glances at Matt and smiles back.

_It’s not hard to pretend to be in love with Shiro when you already are_

“But I believe I have seen what I came to see.” Queen Yerse announces. “If you wouldn’t mind Princess Allura, I would like to steal your advisor from you. I am intrigued to hear what he remembers of the Vesux of long ago.”

Coran’s eyes light up at the suggestion.

“Of course, your Majesty!” He exclaims, quickly moving to take Queen Yerse’s arm. “Allow me to walk you back to the city while I tell you tales of my time here!”

The Queen nods kindly at Coran, and Matt feels like maybe this isn’t that bad. Shiro’s hand is a warm weight next to him, and Matt silently admits to himself that this is kind of nice. He can do this for a couple more minutes, and then they can laugh about it once the Queen is gone.

Matt swears he’s jinxed himself because that’s when the Queen turns back around.

“Oh my! I almost forgot. Now that I know there is a mated pair in Voltron, I would like to invite all of you to a Mate Gala. The King and I are hosting it for the planet three days from now.”

For the first time in the last five minutes, Keith makes himself known.

“What is that?” He asks. Matt can tell Keith isn’t really interested, but if it’s for the sake of another ally in the Coalition….

“Mate Gala’s are where mated pairs go to present their mates and help those who are unmated in their venture to become paired. I assure you all that the Vesi are a kind people. Surely you will accept the invitation to the Gala?” she asks, almost pleadingly.

Matt swallows. He’s speaking before he can even stop himself.

“With pleasure, your Majesty.” He says.

_what are you doing_

“Takashi and I would be honored to attend.”

_why are you doing this to yourself_

“And I’m sure the rest of the Paladins would as well.”

“That is settled then!” Queen Yerse confirms. “I will see you all in three days’ time.”

She turns around again and allows Coran to take her arm once more.

Coran begins a brisk pace away from the castle and back towards the city. Matt wonders if he knows the shitstorm that’s going to happen once he and the Queen are out of earshot.

Matt counts time pass by the frantic beat of his heart. Everyone around them is quiet, waiting for someone to break the silence.

After what feels like an eternity, Lance is the first to lose it.

“Oh my god Matt your FACE!” He yells, hands flying up to grasp his stomach as he laughs.

To his left, Pidge collapses on the ground, silently wheezing.

“I gotta admit, “Takashi” was a nice touch.” Keith mentions from the back with a smile.

Matt is sure he looks like a tomato.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!” He screams, whipping to look at Allura. With a hand over her mouth, even the Princess seems to find this amusing.

But all Matt can think is how mortifying this is.

From their position on the ground, Pidge makes a move to stand.

“Basically,” They say through bouts of giggles, “Queen Yerse wasn’t going to join the Coalition until Shiro admitted he was hitched.”

To his right, Allura composes herself long enough to continue the explanation.

“The Vesi are a people who place a high value on romantic relationships. They prefer all of their leaders to be paired, or “mated”. They see mated leaders as an indicator of the quality of a leader; if you can keep one of the most intimate relationships between you and your partner stable, then you can easily handle commanding armies.”

“Throughout the negotiations, Queen Yerse was heavily hinting that if Shiro didn’t have a partner, then it was going to take weeks to convince them to join the Coalition.”

“Then who was it that suggested me then?” Matt demands. He levels each of the Paladins with a glare. He wouldn’t put it past any of them to think this was a “funny” way to convince the Vesi.

It’s not like they knew about his crush on Shiro. They probably thought it would just be an embarrassing way to tease two of their older teammates.

But now they had a _Mate Gala_ to attend. Which to Matt, sounded like a glorified middle school Valentine’s Day dance.

Next to him, Shiro clears his throat. He looks down at the ground.

“I did.”

Matt’s frustration and anger disappears.

_Shiro’s first instinct was to say he was married to me_

He thinks he imagines Shiro squeezing his hand.

_oh my god we’re still holding hands_

“It’s true!” Lance exclaims, head nodding vigorously. “Shiro made this off-handed comment about how ‘his husband Matt’ would love the city, and it was like Queen Yerse became a totally different person!”

“Good thinking Shiro.” Matt says, giving what he hopes is a composed smile. It’s entirely at odds with the emotions whirling around inside him. “You truly sacrifice the most for Voltron, pretending to be married to me of all people.”

Shiro barks out a laugh, some of the tension finally easing off of his shoulders.

Something that Matt thinks might be his heart flutters at the sight.

_fuck, im such a goner for him_

The basics of the situation now explained, it seems as if Allura has decided they’ve done enough for the day. She turns away from the group and focuses her eyes on the castleship.

“It would be best that we head in for the night.” Allura says. Matt drags his eyes away from Shiro’s face to nod at her.

The rest of the paladins begin to move in, everyone headed towards the castle. Though, not without a few amused glances at Matt’s expense. He sees Keith eye their clasped hands with faint interest.

Shiro turns as well, attention now focused on the team. His hand slips away from Matt’s as he heads toward the castle. Matt tries his best not to miss the warmth of Shiro’s hand.

Pidge slides in next to him in the back of the group with a sly grin on their face.

“So, it looks like we’re attending that Gala in a couple days.” They say innocently, arms behind their back.

Matt doesn’t give them the satisfaction of answering.

“Which means you and Shiro are going to have to act married in front of the population of Vesux.”

A pause.

“Sounds tough. Might be a good idea to practice.”

Matt stops in his tracks.

“Practice?!”

 

\--

 

Allura thought the idea of practice was a great idea. Because of course she did.

But it was already too late for them to go down that rabbit hole today, so tomorrow had been deemed “Practice Day” for Matt and Shiro. The rest of the Paladins would be joining them, as they all seemed to have their own input on how to be convincing at the Gala, even Keith.

It was as if they had been waiting for this day; their combined knowledge making a “How to Convince Aliens You’re Married to Your Crush and Not Fuck It Up: A How-To Guide for Matthew Holt.”

Matt ended up saying goodnight to everyone rather early. Pidge said they had a new project they wanted to finish by tomorrow and needed Hunk’s help. Keith and Lance had gone to the training deck to get in some simulation practice before bed.

Well, Keith had declared he was going to the training deck. Lance had told him he was going to work himself to exhaustion and followed after the Red Paladin in an argument.

Shiro had quietly ducked out without saying a word to any of them, and Matt couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.

In retrospect, maybe Matt shouldn’t have freaked out so much after Queen Yerse had left. He didn’t want Shiro to think that this was a burden on Matt or too weird for him to go through with. This was just how Matt naturally reacted to situations. He would freak out in a sense that was comical and then everything would end up okay after the explanations.

He considers that this situation would have been an entirely different beast if anyone but Shiro had suggested they fake the marriage.

This was all that Matt had been thinking about in the hours since everything had begun.

Currently it was the equivalent of 11 pm in the castle, and he was drying off after taking a shower. The water spraying on his back had been some help in easing the tension of his muscles, but it soon returned after he dried off.

If Lance or Pidge or even Keith of all people had been the one to tell Queen Yerse about Matt, he would have reacted differently.

But it had been Shiro, with his soft words and quiet conviction that said he was the one who did it. Of all the people Shiro could have picked, he picked Matt. And from Shiro’s perspective, Matt had freaked out.

Not good.

It wasn’t that he had meant to offend Shiro. And thinking back, Matt didn’t think he did anything that outright said he was. Offended, that is.

Since all the shit that had happened in space, Matt had become a little rougher around the edges. If this had happened before Kerberos he might have found it a little more funny and hammed it up around Shiro, calling him pet names and hugging him.

But that was a version of Matt that hadn’t been crushing on the Black Paladin for years or been messed with in space. That made a universe of difference.

Matt stepped out of the communal shower area and began the trek back to his room.

He continued thinking as he walked down the long, silent halls of the castle.

The problem was that once he had gotten over the shock of pretending to be married to Shiro, it felt like a role that he was all too suited for. Other than maybe Keith, who was an exception because he was literally Shiro’s brother, who in the castle knew Shiro better than him? They spent months living next door to each other in the Garrison and had become best friends. Then they had both been picked for Kerberos and it was like the mission had been the signature on a blood pact. They were basically inseparable leading up to the mission, sleeping over in each other’s rooms and staying up late telling stories to one another. And that was when Matt had to fuck it all up by looking at Shiro one day and thinking, _I think I’m in love with him._

Despite what Pidge had thought of him at the time, Matt could be professional. So he shoved those feelings down deep and never let them shine through because he couldn’t jeopardize the mission with his crush. They went on the mission and it had gone to shit and the rest would end up being in a history book on Earth someday.

_“Takashi Shirogane, the Black Paladin, would gain his Galra arm when he fought in the Galra gladiator fights. He would sacrifice himself to protect Matthew Holt, a useless comms specialist that was too much of a weakling to do anything other than watch his best friend get dragged into the stadium to fight fucking aliens.”_

_Woah, self-hatred coming in strong tonight_

Matt knew that the problem with this fake marriage to Shiro was that no matter how hard he tried, he was going to like it too much. He was going to get this taste of what Shiro was like outside of being friends, and he would go crazy knowing he can’t have what he wanted. He was sure that Shiro would notice how easily Matt could call him pet names and stand too close, cause it’s what he’s been wanting to do for forever. And Shiro would be too kind, and not say anything about it, and then after the next three days were over, they’d never go back to the way things were before and it would be Matt’s fault and –

Matt stopped walking. He took a deep breath.

He had to stop that line of thinking before it got too out of control. Even if that might be a possible outcome, he didn’t know for sure.

_Besides…_

Matt allowed himself to smile.

Even after knowing him for so long, Shiro still had the ability to surprise him. Maybe they’d end up alright in the end, even if the days immediately after the Gala were going to be torture.

Matt turned the corner, heading towards his room. But before he could get too close, a figure moved from where they were leaning outside his door.

“Hey Shiro.” Matt said, hoping his voice didn’t give away his sudden nervousness. This was the first time they’d been alone since this whole thing had started.

“Hi Matt.” Shiro said, arms crossed over his chest. He was still dressed in his day clothes. Was he planning on sleeping tonight?

“I don’t mean to keep you up, but I wanted to talk you about today.”

“Sure.” Matt replied. He gestured towards his front door.

“Do you want to come in or…?”

“No, I’m good. This won’t take too long, so you can still get your beauty sleep Matt.”

Matt watched as Shiro’s mouth turned into a teasing smile as he said those last words. Matt laughed, feeling lighter all of a sudden.

This part of their friendship would never change.  

Matt leaned one arm against the wall, posing himself like the models he used to see in his mom’s magazines.

“What are you talking about Shiro? These good looks don’t come from sleep, they’re au naturale.”

At this, Shiro snorted. It sounded a bit undignified, echoing down the hall, but Matt loved it all the same.

“Please, I’ve seen you pull two-day all-nighters when we were back at the Garrison. A significant portion of your looks comes from sleep. You made one of the cadets think you’d broken into the labs because you ‘looked homeless’.”

Matt wrinkles his nose at the memory. It wasn’t his fault the cadet had screamed so loud. He was trying to finish a report on time.

“Alright,” Matt says, sending Shiro a playful glare, “enough with the embarrassing stories of me Shiro, we’d be here all night. What did you want to talk about?”

Shiro grows quiet at the question. He looks down at the floor, avoiding Matt’s gaze.

“I wanted to apologize for today. I ended up backed into a corner during the negotiations, and the first thing that came to my head was to say your name. I know you didn’t exactly sign up for this, but I just—"

“Shiro.” Matt said, stepping closer to him. He looked up at Matt, apologies still on the tip of his tongue. Matt wanted to take Shiro’s hand, but he decided to set it on his left shoulder instead.

“You don’t need to apologize. You always do what’s best for Voltron and the Coalition, and if that means that I have to be Mr. Shirogane or Mr. Holt-Shirogane, we could hyphenate,” Shiro laughed softly. “or whatever, then I will do it.”

Matt made a face at himself, thinking back on earlier.

“I should be the one apologizing to you. I didn’t mean to freak out on you after the Queen left. It was just a lot to take in at once and Pidge’s ability to be cryptid didn’t help with my prep.”

Matt squeezed Shiro’s shoulder before letting go. Just like this afternoon, his hand immediately began to miss Shiro’s warmth.

“Besides,” Matt said, blurting out the words because apparently, he didn’t have a filter around Shiro anymore, “I’d rather be married to you over anyone else in the castle.”

Immediately, he feels his face heat up.

_That sounded way too romantic for me to say, fuck_

Matt resists the urge to cover his face with his hands. He glances down at the floor before quickly looking back at Shiro. He tries to gauge his reaction, but Shiro seems unphased except for a hint of red on his cheeks. But Matt could be imagining that.

Luckily, Shiro doesn’t comment on his last sentence.  

“I guess we’re good then.” he states.

Matt wants to make a comment about how him and Shiro are always going to be good, but he doesn’t.

Shiro uncrosses his arms and holds eye contact with Matt for a couple seconds, looking as if there was more he wanted to say. But he seems to shake himself out of it.

“I’m hoping the team goes easy on us with the whole “marriage practice” thing, but that’s probably wishful thinking huh?” He asks.

Matt cracks a smile.

“Knowing Lance, he’ll actually make us walk down an aisle and get married to make it authentic.” Matt straightens up and puts on his best Princess Bride accent.

“Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today.”

Shiro laughs loud, and Matt’s smile turns into a full-blown grin.

“Keith is going to be clueless if you pull that tomorrow.” Shiro says with a breathless sigh. Matt shakes his head in mock-disgust.

“That boy hasn’t lived.”

There’s a pause.

“Well,” Shiro starts, moving closer to Matt, “I hope you get some sleep tonight.”

“Yeah, you and me both.” Matt replies, suppressing a yawn. “Thanks for checking in on me dude.”

“Anytime. Goodnight Matt.” Shiro says. He gives Matt’s shoulder a tight clasp, similar to what Matt had done a couple minutes ago. He hopes he’s not imagining the fond look on Shiro’s face as he walks away.

Matt waits till Shiro is halfway down the hall before he mumbles the words.

“Goodnight Takashi.”

He doesn’t know if Shiro hears him.

 

(Matt doesn’t sleep well that night. He stays up, begging his brain to let him sleep, but it refuses. Instead, he thinks about last names, and if Holt-Shirogane or Shirogane-Holt sounds better.

He wonders if that matters, when he would gladly just take Shirogane as replacement of his own.

That thought keeps him up for another hour.)


	2. Chapter 2

Matt is aware that he’s running late.

It’s the equivalent of 1 pm in the castle, and he is hustling his ass to the lounge. (Faintly, he thinks that the physical training instructors at the Garrison would be proud of him. He was never known for his strength after all.)

He knows the team is going to teasingly accuse him of avoiding “practice”, but they couldn’t be farther from the truth. Matt is almost embarrassed to admit to himself that he had been looking forward to this all day.

Last night had been an absolute nightmare. It had taken him hours to fall asleep, and even though he had felt exhausted, his mind couldn’t shut up with possibilities of what practice was going to be like.

 _Are we going to hold hands again? I wonder what Shiro’s hands feel like outside the armor. Are they going to expect that we call each other babe or baby? I wonder what Shiro’s going to do. What’s it going to be like when he’s looking at me like I’m his husband, not just his best friend? If we’re attending the Gala together, does that mean we have to dance? Do we have to wear tuxes, or, the alien version of tuxes? What if we have to say_ those _words in front of aliens? What if we have to say them in front of the team? Can I do that?_

It had driven Matt crazy. He felt as if he had de-aged by a decade, obsessing over his crush enough to make him sleep deprived. He’d estimate he’d gotten a meager two hours of rest before his alarm went off and he was forced to start the day.

Matt turned a corner, the lounge door in sight just down the hallway.

He had spent most of the day watching the seconds tick by as he did minor repairs in the shuttle bay. But his restlessness had made him feel useless; it felt as though he couldn’t get anything done with how often he got distracted.

Matt mourned his suddenly failing work ethic. In a small way he was grateful that this experience with Shiro was going to end quickly. There was no way he would be useful to Voltron if he was in this state all of the time.

Frustrated, he had left his work in the shuttle bay and retuned to his room. He hadn’t meant to take a nap (and god only knows how he did it) but the next thing he knew, he had been awakened by Allura’s voice telling him to kindly get his ass to the lounge. He barely had enough time to fix his bedhead before running out.

So if you really thought about it, his lateness was Shiro’s fault.

Matt came to a stop outside the lounge door. He stood a few feet away from the entrance and took a deep breath.

Matt counted the seconds pass by before letting it out.

He walked inside.

“Look who has finally decided to join us.” Lance says from the couch, arms crossed. He has a small grin on his face, which lets Matt know that Lance isn’t serious with his reprimand.

“Sorry guys.” Matt says, moving to join everyone in the middle of the room. He pauses momentarily, deciding whether or not the joke is worth making.

“I got lost on the path of life.” He states, shooting them all a grin.

Hunk and Allura send him a confused look, but the rest of the team freezes. From beside Shiro, who looks like he’s about to lose it, Pidge scowls at him.

“Did you just make a Naruto joke, Matt? Seriously?”

Lance snorts, and it’s like the floodgates have opened for Shiro. He does a full body laugh, his arms moving to cover the delighted smile on his face. From where he stands next to the edge of the couch, Keith copies the movements of his brother.

Matt feels pride swell up inside him. It had been a personal goal of his to make Shiro laugh more since they had been reunited; so much bad shit had happened to him already and Matt knew laughter was scarce during war. But getting Keith to laugh too was always the cherry on top of the accomplishment.

“Oh man, that brings back memories.” Keith says from across the room.

Lance whips his head to look at Keith, disbelief in his eyes.

“You know what Naruto is!?” He asks. “I didn’t think you even knew what anime was.”

Keith’s smile fades a bit, leveling a playful glare at Lance.

“Of course I do, Shiro and I watched it all the time at the Garrison. I used to nag him to play the chunin exams arc over and over again.”

Lance looks stunned, like he’s seeing Keith for the first time. He looks ready to ask Keith more questions, but Pidge butts in.

“Alright, that’s enough. You nerds can talk about your ninja fetish on your own time. Matt, get over here.”

Matt obeys, maneuvering around Allura to make his way on the couch. There isn’t much room left, since everyone but Keith is sitting. The only available spot left is next to Shiro, and Matt feels his heart start to beat a little bit faster.

He wouldn’t put it past the team to strategically leave that spot open for him. They may be teenagers, but they’re also Paladins, and he knows the rest of the team has the skill to subtly pull this off.

Matt takes a seat next to Shiro, and his suspicions are confirmed when he sees Pidge smirk at him from their seat on the couch. They seem satisfied with the results, but then their sly grin falls away a bit. Their eyes survey the room before quickly returning to Matt. Shiro is looking at Keith, what seems to be a silent brother moment passing between the two. On his left, Lance is caught between explaining to Allura what Naruto is and expressing his disappointment to Hunk for being uncultured.

With no one paying attention to them at the moment, the teasing aura falls from Pidge’s face to one of concern. Matt lets out a small sigh. Pidge had always been perceptive, especially when it came to things regarding Matt. Sometimes he thought his sibling had grown up to fast, what with being able to read him so easily.

He gives them what he hopes is a reassuring expression. They seem to take it for now, though Matt is sure he will be cornered when this is all over.

_Speaking of which…_

“Well, I think it’s about time we begin.” Allura says, effectively silencing Lance and Hunk’s argument across from her. Shiro takes his attention away from Keith to focus on the princess, and Pidge straightens up.

She turns towards Matt and Shiro.

“I’m not a real expert on human romantic customs, so I’ll just be watching if you two don’t mind. My contributions here will have to do more with knowledge on what the Vesi may expect than what I suggest you do.”

Matt nods, and out of his peripheral, he sees Shiro do the same. Inside, he deflates a little bit. With Allura taking a back seat during this, that means the team basically has free reign over them. Matt knows he was joking, but now that he thinks about it, he really wouldn’t put it past Lance to make them walk down an aisle and say vows to each other.

“That’s fine Allura. Thank you for staying anyway.” Shiro says to her kindly. He turns to the rest of the team, but his cheeks seem to be a little brighter.

“Matt and I are doing this for the Coalition.” He pauses. “So if you guys could…. I’d appreciate it if…”

Matt watches Shiro stumble over his words, a bit stunned. Shiro was always one to know exactly what he was talking about. He had been praised back at the Garrison for being a well-spoken instructor, unlike Matt who got easily flustered speaking to large groups of people.

Shiro sighs.

“Just, don’t take this too far okay?” He says, his hands covering the lower half of his face. He looks prepared to be embarrassed, and Matt’s heart goes out to Shiro. As far as Matt knew, Shiro hadn’t had any long-term serious relationships. He had always been focused on his work, much like Matt, and any dates he did have had a way of ending mutually.

It occurs to Matt that Shiro might be even less experienced in this than Matt is.

He tears his gaze away from his best friend to look at the team. While smiles are still on their faces, the shit-eating grins have changed to fond laughs.

“Don’t worry about it Shiro.” Hunk says reassuringly. “We’ll go easy on you, it’s exactly what you would do if any of us were in this situation.”

Shiro looks up and shoots Hunk a grateful look. Pidge laughs, but nods along with Keith and Lance. Matt lets out a small sigh of relief.

_Why did I doubt them? This won’t be too bad_

“I might as well start then.” Hunk states. He looks around to see if anyone has any objections. When he sees that no one does, he continues.

“We’ll take it easy. I don’t have a lot of direct experience with love, only the dubious advice I used to give Lance when we were roommates at the Garrison.” Lance squawks at Hunk’s implication, but he continues anyway. “However, my moms are enough of an example to go off of. They were always cuddling with each other and holding hands and stuff when I was a kid. I’m sure they still do that now.” For a second, Hunk looks away, lost in thought about what his parents might be doing back on Earth. Matt was sure Hunk missed his family as much as Matt missed his.

“So, you two are sitting next to each other, which is good. But,” Hunk says, rising from his seat next to Lance, “you need to be sitting closer.” He makes a movement of closing his hands together, eyeing the area between Shiro and Matt.

Matt looks at Shiro, who is already staring at him. Matt quickly looks down at the space between them, a comfortable 12 inches.

“My moms always sat right next to each other, so they were touching all the time. You guys don’t need to be sitting in each other’s laps or anything but take that space and minimize it down to, like, an inch.”

Matt feels like he’s sweating bullets. The image of him sitting in Shiro’s lap flashes through his mind and he bits his lip to keep from physically reacting. Matt avoids making eye contact with anybody in the room as he closes the distance between him and Shiro.

Matt stares at the small area left between them. He desperately wants to get rid of that last inch of space and feel Shiro’s warmth next to him. There is suddenly nothing more he wants in the world than for their thighs to be touching.

He realizes that the next hour was going to be an absolute ordeal on his self-control.

Hunk grins at them, oblivious to the agony that is Matt’s mental undoing.

“That’s great! This is good practice when you’re around the Vesi. If there are benches you both can sit on, you should sit close together.” Hunk puts a hand to his chin, striking a deep thinking pose. All of a sudden, he seems to have gotten quite serious about this.

“Same goes for standing too. You’ll have to invade each other’s personal space when standing so people will know you’re comfortable with each other.”

Next to him, Shiro nods in polite understanding.  He turns towards Matt, his body adjusting to how close they are to each other.

“We shouldn’t have to worry about physical touches too much.” He says. Shiro’s arm reaches up to gently clasp Matt’s shoulder, similar to how he had last night.

“We already did hand holding in front of Queen Yerse, and Matt and I have been friends for years. We’ll be able to find openings for touches naturally during the Gala.”

Hunk shakes his head in agreement at Shiro’s statement, but Matt feels a little let down. It sounds weird to say that he had been looking forward to touching Shiro, but it’s true. After being reunited, Matt had been craving any touch from Shiro. He had gone from having his friend’s comforting touch in the Galra camps to nothing when he had been taken away. It wasn’t like the other prisoners were keen on touching Matt either, so it was probably fair to say he was touch-starved.

When Pidge had brought Matt back to the castle, he had burst into tears the moment Shiro had pulled him into a tight hug. It had felt like he was finally breathing after being underwater for so long.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Matt watched Hunk sit down again next to Lance. As if seeing their opening, Pidge shoots up from their seat.

“My turn!” They exclaim, eliciting a groan from Lance, who mumbled something about wanting to go next.

They step in front of Matt and Shiro, and Matt begs to any god, alien or human, for his sibling to have mercy on his soul.

Pidge has their hands behind their back, the perfect image of someone who is hiding something.

“To piggyback off of Hunk,” they say, “I’ll mention that I have no romantic experience whatsoever. I’m the youngest out of anyone here so that shouldn’t be too much of surprise.”

They pause.

“I also don’t think there is much advice I can give because you are best friends already.” They grin, and suddenly Matt feels much more nervous than he was with Hunk.

“Being married is like a level up from being best friends. So to make that transition easier…”

Pidge takes their hands from behind their back and presents their palms to Matt and Shiro.

Sitting loosely on each palm is a ring.

_Holy fucking shit_

“Oh man, that is too good. Pidge you are a legend!” Lance exclaims from next to Shiro. He winks up at Pidge who snickers back.

“I welded them together last night using spare parts.” They explain, seemingly oblivious to the silence between Matt and Shiro. “I had Hunk help me out with the most technical aspects, but they’re as close to human wedding bands as we’ll get out in space.”

Shiro is the first to move, gingerly taking the ring out of Pidge’s hand. Matt follows suit, grabbing a hold of the ring and studying it.

The ring is made of metals that he easily recognizes as parts from items in the castle. While the inside is smooth, the outside has been polished so that it shines in the light. There are no jewels or gems, and the ring is overall extremely simplistic, but Matt already feels attached to it.

Pidge might not get this back after the Gala.

He slips it on his left ring finger before anyone gets any ideas about making Shiro do it for him. The difference in weight on his hand is immediately noticeable, but Matt finds that he doesn’t mind. It’ll take a bit to get used to the ring being there, but if anything, it would just be a reminder of the marriage.

Matt stops.

_What marriage? The fake one that you’re in with your best friend? A reminder that this isn’t real, that Shiro is never going to see you like that?_

He chastises himself for that last line of thinking.

_Stop it._

“Does it fit?” Pidge asks, grabbing at Matt’s hand to inspect the ring. He jerks forward as his sibling examines the jewelry.

“Why ask if you’re just going to yank my hand, you gremlin.”

Pidge ignores his remark.

“I had to guess your guys’ ring size, but I can fix them if they don’t fit. Shiro?”

Matt and Pidge both look at Shiro, who is still looking at the ring in his hand. His eyes convey something unreadable as he stares at the little band.

He looks up as if his mind is catching up with the conversation. He quickly slips it onto his hand and thrusts it at Pidge.

They inspect the ring just as they had with Matt, which gives him time to look at Shiro, whose eyes are still fixated on the jewelry.

Last night, Shiro had come to Matt to ask if he was okay with what they were doing. Matt was fine, but now he wondered if Shiro was okay with this as well. He had assumed yes, since it had originally been Shiro’s idea. But now he’s not too sure. There’s a pain on Shiro’s face that Matt can’t understand.

From behind Pidge’s back, Allura speaks up.

“I’m sorry, but could someone explain the significance of the rings? What makes them different from other forms of hand jewelry?”

Pidge turns around to face her, Shiro’s hand falling from their grasp. Shiro eases his hand back down to his lap, hugging it gently towards his body. He glances down as he moves the fingertips of his Galra hand along the shiny metal, as if memorizing what it feels like sitting on his ring finger. Matt realizes with a start that the ring is sitting on Shiro’s sole remaining human hand. It hurts his heart to think how much worse this would be if the ring was sitting on Galra technology.

“When humans get married, they put rings on the fourth finger of their left hand. It’s kinda like a symbol to others that you’re taken. We usually don’t put any jewelry on that finger unless it’s a wedding band, so people don’t get confused as to what it means.” They explain. Allura nods, processing the information.

“I believe the Vesi would be greatly interested in hearing about that.” She states, glancing at Matt and Shiro. “They have their own rather convoluted way of declaring mates, and I believe this would be of amusement to them. It would be a good conversation topic for you to bring up.”

The two of them nod in unison. Pidge turns back around, eyeing the rings on their hands before sitting down on the couch again.

Lance opens his mouth, ready to begin his portion of the practice, but Pidge shushes him from their seat. He sinks down into the couch, whining about unfairness.

“The only other thing I want to mention is the love story.”

Matt straightens up at that, his thigh briefly touching Shiro’s before moving back in place.

“What are you talking about Pidge?” Matt asks, holding his arms over his chest. He’s aware that it’s a stupid question and crossing his arms is textbook defensive body language, but Matt can’t help it. He feels exposed. He feels like Pidge is going to turn to him with a knowing look and spill every secret he has.

Pidge scoffs at his question, like Matt is being an idiot.

“Don’t couples usually have, like, The Love Story™ they tell at parties? Mom and Dad tell it whenever someone asks about their marriage.” They say, rolling their eyes, though there’s no real heat to the tease.

“I mean, it shouldn’t be that hard to make one up. You guys have been friends forever already, so just edit a part of your friendship and it’s done.”

Matt can hear the underlying accusation in his sibling’s words.

_You did the groundwork already morons_

“I guess not much changes then.” Matt replies, leaning back into the couch. “Shiro and I met at the Garrison. We lived next door to each other and became friends. Then—”

“Stop!” Hunk shouted, halting Matt in his tracks. “That should be where you guys fell in love.”

“What?” Matt sputters, as Shiro says “Huh?”

Hunk shakes his head, as if he can’t believe what he is dealing with.

“Think about it. Say you guys fall in love here.” He says, creating an imaginary timeline with his hands. He points a quarter of the way through.

“You guys get together before or around the announcement of the Kerberos mission. Then, when you get to here, before the launch, you guys will have been an established couple by that point. Now, the real decision to make is when you would have gotten married. Before Kerberos on Earth, or months ago after you were reunited?”

Matt looks down at the white floor beneath him. He doesn’t know which one to pick. They both seem to reveal too much.

“If we do pre-Kerberos,” Matt says, gaining everyone’s attention, “then that means we’ll have been married for at least two to three years before meeting the Vesi.” He clears his throat and brings his head up. “However, that also means we went through the gladiator battles and the separation while married, which…”

Matt trails off, and he feels the mood of the room sink with his words. Allura’s eyes grow hard at the hanging implication and a frown forms on Lance’s face.

Matt had been in agony when Shiro had taken his place to fight in the arena. He had no idea what happened to Shiro and for months he had mentally beaten himself up over the thought that he had gotten his best friend killed. If the situation had been swapped, and he thought he got his husband killed…

_I would have volunteered to fight in the arena too so I’d die._

The thought is so clear in Matt’s head that it makes him shiver. That was the truth, wasn’t it? He had held out hope that Shiro had survived in the arena, but had he thought the love of his life had died because of him, Matt would have been long gone.

“Which is not a happy thought.” Shiro says, finishing Matt’s sentence.

Matt snaps his head to look at Shiro, whose eyes are on the floor, deep in thought. In his lap, his hands are clenched tight into fists. The wedding band strains against the pressure of being squeezed.

“On the other hand,” Matt says, “we could have eloped on some alien planet the moment we were reunited. That puts us at a time disadvantage for how long we’ve been married, but it also gives us pity points for getting married at the height of war time.”

_God, this is depressing_

“My vote is on alien planet elopement.” Keith says from the end of the couch. For once, everyone else seems to agree. Elopement sounds peachy compared to the alternative.

But the mood is still dark in the lounge. Hunk isn’t making eye contact with anyone, and Keith has his back towards the group.

Hoping to get some laughs, Matt looks at Pidge, a miniscule grin on his face.

“Can you imagine going home and telling Mom and Dad about that?” He says, catching his sibling’s attention, “‘Hey guys, we’re home. By the way, you remember Shiro? Well, we got married out in space. Cool right?’”

From beside him, Shiro sneaks out a small laugh, and Pidge cracks a smile.

“Your dad might be cool with it, but your mom would interrogate me like I’d stolen your soul.” Shiro says, more laughter escaping him.

Lance giggles next to Shiro.

“Sounds exactly like my mom. She’d put the fear of god in me if I got married without her being there.” Lance says.

“But mooooommmm” Hunk whines, pretending to speak to one of his mothers, “We were in the middle of an intergalactic space war with a ruthless army, what was I supposed to do? Wait?”

“Exactly!” Lance exclaims. They laugh, the tension easing from the air as quickly as it had arrived.

From opposite ends of the couch, Matt watches as Allura and Keith make eye contact. As the two people in the room who no longer have mothers, Matt can understand why they might check on each other at a time like this. He doesn’t know much about how things went down between those two, but Matt knows it got a little ugly when Keith found out about his Galra heritage. While they have made up since then, he wonders what their relationship is like now. Obviously not too sour if they’re kind enough to check in with the other during moments like these.

“Okay, so we got that settled.” Hunk says with a laugh. He levels a gaze at Pidge. “Is that everything you wanted to mention?”

“I’ve got one last thing.” Pidge says. Across from them, Lance groans again.

Their eyes focus on Matt and Shiro, and Matt shivers. Pidge looks at them intensely, and for a second Matt feels like his sibling can read his mind.

_When did Pidge get so intimidating?_

“You two have to come up with one more story: the moment you realized you were in love with each other. You can talk about the marriage part all you want,” They say with a dismissive hand wave, “but what people really want to know is how you got there. So pick a time you guys had fun and then just tack that detail onto it.”

Matt is floored. He feels as though Pidge is basically asking him to reveal the real moment he knew he was in love with Shiro. Should he use that moment? It had the strength of being true, but it feels like he’s giving it all away in front of the whole team.

Surprisingly, Shiro speaks up first.

“Mine’ll be a week after they announced we were going to Kerberos.” He states, a determined look in his eyes. Matt looks at Shiro with surprise. That was fast.

“Matt was working overtime on preparation because he was so excited for the launch. It didn’t matter to him that we were still months out from the actual day. We were just starting to stay overnight in each other’s rooms at that point, and about a week after the announcement, Matt crashes at 1 am.” A smile dances across Shiro’s face as he recalls the memory.

“His head fell straight down into the stack of papers on his desk, and he was out like a light. I could tell it was cause he hadn’t been sleeping much so I got up and tucked him into bed. I knew if I didn’t he was going to complain about his back the next morning.”

Shiro pauses before shooting everyone a shy smile.

“I haven’t been in any serious relationships, but if I had to pick a moment to change, it would probably be that one.”

Around them, the team nods, considering the quality of the event through the lens of romance.

Meanwhile, Matt is staring at Shiro, because he doesn’t have to question the genuineness of Shiro’s story. He knows exactly the moment he’s talking about.

Matt remembers it pretty well. He had been reviewing plans for the ice drill they were going to use on the moon when his sleep deprivation had finally caught up to him and knocked him out. Matt had always thought he dragged himself to bed and under the covers before he fell into sleep. But here sat Shiro, telling Matt in no uncertain terms that Matt had fallen asleep at his desk.

_He really did that for me?_

Matt imagines Shiro cradling him in his arms before tucking him into bed. It was all too easy to picture him putting Matt’s glasses on the side table and then quietly returning to his spot on the floor next to the bed. Matt tries to remember if he ever said anything to Shiro about it the next morning, but for the life of him, he can’t remember.

_I never thanked him for that._

“That works.” Lance says, considering Shiro’s suggestion. “I like the subtlety of the moment, it’s very you, Shiro.”

Shiro ducks his head down at the compliment, face red with embarrassment.

From across the room, Matt notices Keith eyeing his brother with suspicion. He would stop to consider why Keith was doing that, but Keith had a habit of being suspicious, and Matt doesn’t have time to figure out what the red paladin is thinking.

Instead, Matt considers his options, knowing the team will want his answer next. Does he lie or unbeknownst to them, tell them the truth?

The decision is peculiarly easy to make.

“I think mine will go a different vein then.” Matt says, hoping he looks thoughtful.

“This happened pre-Kerberos announcement, so that puts some distance between our stories. And mine is funny.”

His claim capture’s everyone’s attention. Next to him, Shiro looks up, interested. Matt wonders if Shiro remembers this.

“Now as you guys may know, Iverson has always been an uptight asshole.”

At the mention of their previous Garrison commander, the team’s faces warp to ones of disgust. Allura is left confused however, and Hunk leans over to quietly fill her in.  

“Exactly. Shiro and I weren’t too fond of him either, he was a real jerk about a lot of stuff. But anyway, one day we’re walking back from the mess hall, and we see he’s got these two cadets cornered in the hallway. He’s yelling at them for something, and these kids look like they’re going to piss themselves.”

Matt leans back into the couch, the memory bringing warmth to his heart.

“So Shiro marches up to Iverson, and I’m worried cause it looks like he’s going to deck the guy in the face. But what he actually does is start busting out some real mean Japanese. Like, I didn’t catch more than a handful of words, but Shiro sounded pissed. And Iverson is standing there having no clue what’s going on, which gives the cadets enough time to slip away.”

The team is beginning to laugh now, Shiro included.

“He’s yelling at Iverson for like a solid minute. And then after all that, in the sweetest voice possible, Shiro says in English, ‘Oh! I’m sorry Commander. Holt and I were asked to test out a prototype translator from the Communications Department, but it seems to be malfunctioning. Sorry to bother you, have a good afternoon.’ And we proceeded to speed walk our asses out of there before he can see us laughing.”

“Wait, really?” Hunk asks. Shiro nods in his direction and Hunk grins.

“Wait, so what did he say to Iverson?” Lance asks, looking between Matt and Shiro.

Matt chuckles before returning Lance’s gaze.

“If I remember right, it was something along the lines of ‘Hey, what’s your problem? Cut this shit out! We all know you’re bitter that your wife divorced you but these kids did nothing wrong. Do us all a favor and get that stick out of your ass.’”

At that, the team bursts out into laughter. Keith shoots Matt a grin, and Matt smiles back.

_I’m two for two with Keith today huh_

From beside him Shiro laughs through his slight embarrassment. While he knows now that Shiro remembers the moment, Matt wonders if he remembers what came after. Matt had watched Shiro walk away from Iverson in awe, and when his friend had explained the meaning of his words, Matt had lost his balance, he was laughing so hard. Shiro had caught him of course, and the combined proximity and hilarity of the situation had made Matt realize how he felt.

“Those two are great examples.” Pidge says with a snort. “My work here is done. Lance! Your turn.”

From across them on the couch, Lance springs up from his seat.

“Finally!” he exclaims. “You guys are looking at someone who has a lot of experience with love, so get ready to be blown away!”

Matt leans back in his seat. He expects Lance to give him love advice, guru style, but that doesn’t happen. Instead, they sit there in silence. Lance stands before them, eyeing him and Shiro down quietly.

He seems to inspect them, looking at the two of them like a sort of experiment or test he’s working on. He looks at the small space between them, and their hands. Lance strikes a thinking pose, hand under his chin with the other one crossed against his chest.

After about a minute of this, the silence is broken.

“Can we please get on with this? I thought you were supposed to be the love master or something.” Keith says, rolling his eyes at Lance.

The blue paladin snaps around to glare at Keith.

“Shut up Keith, I know what I’m doing!”

He turns around again to consider Matt and Shiro.

“I’m going to base my advice to you guys off of true love and science.”

Next to him, Shiro raises an eyebrow in question.

“The true love part comes from my sister, Vanessa. She’s the oldest in the family, and I was still around when she got married to her husband.” Lance’s face softens, as it always does when he talks about his family.

“Vanessa’s relationship with Julius was always good, but it was like it upgraded after they got married. All of a sudden, they had more inside jokes between them, and even just being in the same room as them felt different from before. I’m kinda elaborating off of what Hunk said here. He said you guys had to sit close together, which you are right now. But that’s only half of it. I’ve seen V and Julius stand next to each other even when they were fighting, so you guys have to remember not just the physical part of standing close together, but also the social part too.”

Lance paces in front of them, making sure they’re paying attention to him.

“So that’s my advice for being in front of the Vesi. Now come the fun part.” He sends them an all-knowing smirk that makes Matt shiver.

“Have any of you guys ever heard of Dr. Avon’s attraction experiment?” Lance asks, turning the question on everyone in the room.

There are head shakes of no from all sides.

 “Okay.” Lance says with a sigh. He looks at the team with exasperation.

“Dr. Avon is this psychologist who made this sort of test that claims if you answer all 36 questions with another person then you’ll fall in love with them.”

Pidge scoffs at the notion, but Lance levels them with a serious look.

“That’s the romanticized explanation. It’s actually a test that gets into super intimate questions as it goes on. And because you and your partner are telling each other these really personal things willingly, you get comfortable being vulnerable with that person. That’s what leads to such strong relationships at the end of it.”

Vulnerable. With Shiro.

Matt had felt vulnerable for the past half hour, he couldn’t imagine how much worse this test was going to be.

Wait. Lance didn’t expect them to take it now did he? Matt loved the team, but he didn’t think he could handle doing a love test in front of them.

As if reading his mind, Lance eases Matt’s fears.

“I can only remember a handful of the questions, but I’ll send them to you guys so you can test it out yourselves. I don’t need to know any of your dirty secrets.” Lance says with an eyebrow wiggle.

Matt snorts.

“Dirty secrets?” He asks, “What are you talking about dude, I am a pure angel who has never done anything wrong.” From next to him, Shiro laughs. Matt looks at his best friend begging for pity.

“Shirooo, c’mon, don’t laugh.”

From behind them, the lounge door opens, presenting Coran.

“Ahh, this is where you all are!” He exclaims, maneuvering around the room to sit next to Allura. “Are we having a meeting I didn’t know about?”

“Oh no. Just some practice for the Vesi.” Allura explains. “I’m learning quite a lot about human relationships in the process.”

Coran nods at the princess, getting settled in so he can watch the proceedings with her.

“But that’s pretty much it for me.” Lance says with a shrug. He sits back down in his seat on the couch. “I think you guys will be fine, and Pidge covered most of the stuff I wanted to bring up anyway.”

Lance’s gaze flickers over to Keith, who is leaning against the arm of the couch.

“You’re the last one up Mullet.”

Keith bristles at the nickname but doesn’t call Lance out on it. Matt notes that it’s a slight improvement from the constant bickering that had been going on between the two since he’s arrived.

Keith stands up straight, arms crossed against his chest.

“I…” he starts, looking up at the ceiling.

“I don’t really have any romantic references to fall back on. So my advice may be shit.” There’s a long pause where everyone looks at Keith. His face darkens a bit at all the attention, but he stands his ground as he thinks.

He gestures towards Matt.

“You called Shiro ‘Takashi’ yesterday. Why?”

Matt feels his face burn red as everyone looks away from Keith to focus on him.

“Uh, well, I just thought it was more… personal?” He tries, knowing he doesn’t sound confident. He clears his throat. “Everyone calls him Shiro, and I thought to make it more convincing, I’d go a different route.”

Keith considers Matt’s response before nodding, the explanation appeasing him for the moment.

“That makes sense. I’m not trying to dictate this marriage thing but calling him Takashi is definitely better than some stupid pet name.” He says with a roll of his eyes.

Matt balks at the idea. Him? Calling Shiro a pet name?

Matt imagines it for a second, calling Shiro babe or honey in his head. It felt weird, like he was forcing it, and it didn’t fit Shiro at all.

_Yeah, Takashi is just fine_

“That’s easy enough.” Matt replies.

Keith nods again, as if that signals the conversation to be over. The rest of the team looks at each other, as if trying to figure out what happens next now that everyone has had their turn.

Matt takes that time to look at Shiro, who has been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the entire practice. He seems pretty well composed but Matt can’t quite tell what his best friend is thinking.

Allura stands from her end of the couch, drawing everyone’s attention.

“I believe it’s my turn.” She says. Matt’s face scrunches up in confusion. Didn’t Allura say at the start of the practice that she was just observing? The princess makes eyes contact with all of them.

“If everyone would follow me, we can get this last part over with.”

While Allura’s words sound a bit harsh, Matt doesn’t take it personally. He knows the kind of stress she’s under, so he just does what he says and gets up off the couch. The rest of the team copies his movement, with Allura and Coran taking the lead and walking out of the lounge. They follow behind them, with Matt and Shiro bringing in the rear.

Pidge manages to catch Matt’s eyes, mouthing a ‘Where are we going?’ to him. He shrugs in response. He had just as much of a clue as they did.

The group walks for a couple minutes, making their way to another section of the castle. As they continue down the infinite number of hallways that the castle has, Matt turns to Shiro.

“You doing okay?” He asks.

Shiro’s eyebrows raise a little as he looks back at Matt.

“I’m fine.” He says quickly. He lets out a deep sigh. “I’m just… a little flustered when it comes to this kinda stuff.”

Hearing Shiro admit that makes Matt’s heart melt.

“I don’t want to seem inexperienced, but that’s basically the problem. Most of my relationships never got far enough to get this deep.”

Matt nods at the statement, reminiscing on the few relationships Shiro had had in the years since Matt had known him.

There had been one with a girl from the biology lab that had gone on for a while, but it had soon fallen apart, just like all the others. If there was any relationship to mourn, Matt thinks, it would have been with this girl. Even with his raging crush on Shiro, Matt had still liked her. She was pretty, smart, talented. But when he had confronted Shiro about the breakup, Shiro hadn’t seemed heartbroken at all. He had been unbothered by the whole thing, even relieved.

He puts his hand on Shiro’s shoulder, a movement that seems to have become all too common for Matt recently.

“Don’t worry about it. The team is just doing their best to help us out with the Vesi. You’ll be fine, you’ve always been the more charming one between the two of us anyway.” He says. Matt gulps.

_Too romantic, turn your rampant bisexuality down a notch_

“I mean, you always had more luck with love than I did.” Matt adds. Shiro cracks a smile.

“Barely.” He says. Matt scoffs at the answer.

_Even as friends Shiro is out of my league, no way we’re on the same level when it comes to romance_

Matt doesn’t linger on how depressing that thought is because Allura opens a set of doors ahead of them.

Matt had seen this room once before, when Pidge had first given him a tour of the castle. It was the ballroom that Team Voltron barely used, except when giving tours and one memorable party they had held for Lance’s birthday. Now, Matt could understand all too clearly what Allura had brought them here for.

“Would you two dance for us please?” Allura asks them. “The Vesi will ask you to dance, and it is best we make sure that you can do something that will satisfy them.”

The two of them nod, making their way through the team to get to the front. (Matt avoids making eye contact with Pidge or Lance, knowing they’d take the first sniff of nervousness and mercilessly tease him for it.)

Matt and Shiro begin the descent down the many stairs onto the ballroom floor. From on the balcony overlooking them, Allura and Coran are messing with the control panel, doing their best to get music on. Matt faintly hears Pidge suggest plugging in their laptop, but he’s not too sure, because now it’s just him and Shiro on the floor.

They look at each other, unsure of how to begin.  

Matt blushes, making a move to grab Shiro’s hand.

“I know the team is going to make fun of me for this,” He says preemptively, “but I’m the shorter one of the two of us, so I’ll take the girl’s position in the waltz.”

Matt laces his fingers with Shiro’s human hand, stretching their limbs outwards. He places his left hand on Shiro’s shoulder, doing his best to position himself. Shiro follows suit, gently moving his Galra arm to hold Matt’s waist.

The light glints off of their wedding rings.

Between their fingers, Matt can feel the cool metal pressing into his hand. As they adjust their positioning, his own ring shines in the dim ballroom lights.

Matt tears his eyes away from the ring to look forward and is stunned by how close Shiro is. There are only a few inches of space between their faces.

Matt can clearly see the darker grey specks in Shiro’s eyes, and he’s in prime position to get an up-close look at the scar across his nose.

It’s a mark that Matt had mixed feelings about. On one hand, it really upped Shiro’s attractiveness, but on the other hand, the scar had come from what he could only guess was a painful moment. Matt has no clue how Shiro gotten it or how he feels about it. Matt had never asked. It’s a scar that even the technology in the castle can’t remove, and Shiro will have to live with in plain sight for the rest of his life.

Music begins to play above them.

Matt’s attention moves to where Pidge and the team have settled on the overhang encompassing the ballroom floor. Pidge is leaning over the edge, and even from this distance Matt can see the sly curve of their mouth.

“Wait, is the Beauty and the Beast?” Shiro shouts up at them. Pidge gives them a very cheesy thumbs up motion.

“It’s the only classical music I have on my laptop!” They shout back. Matt snorts.

Of course. Pidge’s library was full of old school, late 2000’s music and Disney songs because Matt had insisted they be cultured.

Shiro looks at Matt, determined to not look away.

“Shall we?” He asks. Matt nods in agreement, afraid that his voice might give away his sudden nervousness.

With the piano and orchestra in the background, they start to move.

Shiro takes the lead, leading the two of them in a very simple box waltz. This is something that Matt knows well from attending galas for the work the Garrison was doing. When you were going on the most ambitious space travel mission humans had ever attempted, you needed a lot of funding from a lot of people.

They get the hang of the box waltz rather easily, since they aren’t moving around the ballroom. Matt has a tight grip on Shiro’s shoulder, staring at his feet to keep make sure the two of them dance in the same simple square.

Despite any dancing he may have done at the Garrison gala’s, he had never gotten past the box waltz, and he had been fine with that at the time. But now he’s nervous that he’ll mess this all up the moment Shiro decided it’s time for them to start traveling around the room.

From above him Shiro laughs, and Matt looks up.

“You can’t stare at your feet the whole time.” He says kindly. “You gotta look up at me otherwise it looks weird.”

Matt looks away for a couple seconds in embarrassment. Shiro was right, but where was he supposed to look?

He swallowed and looked back into Shiro’s eyes.

_“Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly”_

The voice of Mrs. Potts croons from somewhere above as they continue to waltz.

Matt continues to hold eye contact with Shiro.

_We’re going to have to do this in front of hundreds of people. I wonder what we’ll look like to them._

Slowly, Matt feels Shiro guide him away from his comfort square, and he latches on tighter. Shiro laughs again.

“You’re doing fine. It’s the same pattern but just moving your body a little more. Just follow my lead.”

“Easy for you to say.” Matt grumbles, finally looking away. It was too easy for him to get caught in Shiro’s eyes. “You’re a natural at this.”

Shiro huffs a small laugh in reply, but they keep dancing.

From somewhere on the balcony Matt hears voices, but he doesn’t look up. He wonders how long Allura expects them to do this.

_“Tale as old as time, Song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast”_

The vocals fade away and the two of them stop, standing in the middle of the ballroom. Matt loosens his grip on Shiro’s shoulders, shooting his best friend an apologetic gaze.

Both of them move to release each other but another song comes on above them. Shiro snaps back into place against Matt, and he can’t help it that his heart beats faster. It was simple moments like these that reminded Matt how strong Shiro was. Matt felt like he weighed a feather in comparison.

They begin dancing again, until Matt’s ears finally catch up with his brain and put a name to the song.

“Is this fucking Ed Sheeran?!” He shouts at the balcony. All he gets in reply is laughter.

The two of them continue to do a simple waltz around the ballroom, getting settled into the rhythm of the song. They start to get adventurous a bit as time passes.

The first time Shiro swings Matt out of his arms, Matt thinks he’s going to fall on his ass. But he recovers just in time to manage a single spin back into their formation. He hears Lance wolf whistle above them.

By the end of the song, Matt is flushed red and a bit sweaty, but definitely less nervous. Shiro smiles down at him.

“That was great!” He exclaims, bringing Matt in for a quick hug. Matt wishes it lasted longer, but he’ll take what he can get.

“We’re gonna blow the alien socks off of the Vesi.” Matt says, a smile slowly spreading across his face. Shiro laughs at the remark.

“The Vesi don’t even have legs Matt.”

“Just let me have this Shiro!”

From on the balcony, the same music begins again.

“We’re coming down to join you!” Allura yells at them, the team following behind her.

Matt laughs, placing his hand back on Shiro’s shoulder.

“Let’s waltz our way towards them.” He says to Shiro, who expresses his agreement by placing a hand back on Matt’s waist.

They spin their way over to where the others are coming down the stairs and stop in front of them. Matt can’t help but think that this is the most comfortable Shiro has looked all day. Maybe it had to do with the movement? This was something Shiro was familiar with, even good at. Before, practice had meant sitting there and listening to his younger teammates instruct him on how to be in love. But here, at least he knew what he was doing.

“That was wonderful!” Allura exclaims. “Though simple, I believe that will satisfy the dancing requirement. No need to teach you anything.”

Allura moves beside Matt, extending her hand towards Coran. He grasps it quickly, and they join together to stop in a position similar to the one Matt and Shiro had been in.

“While Matt may have been the one to accept Queen Yerse’s invitation, she did invite all of Voltron to attend the Gala. I’m quite sure she will expect all of us to dance in the festivities.” Allura says before giggling. Coran sends them all a wink before he and Allura are dancing out onto the floor. Their movement is much more complicated than what Shiro and Matt had been doing, most likely a traditional Altean dance. But it’s graceful and elegant, and Matt knows he could only look like that in his dreams.

Pidge quickly pulls Hunk onto the floor, a glint in their eye that is usually reserved for Matt.

Without saying a word to the rest of them, they take off as well. Matt wonders why Pidge had chosen Hunk; the height difference between the two of them was nothing short (haha, pun) of ridiculous. Pidge’s head just barely reached Hunk’s shoulders, so the two had to settle on switching their hand positions around. But in a way, they seemed to spin around the room just fine. Hunk was as kind as they came, and he was being careful not to step on any toes, which Matt was grateful for.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

In front of them, Keith and Lance are refusing to look at each other.

“Of all the people in the castle, how did I get stuck with you as my partner?” Keith wonders aloud. Beside him, Lance sputters in offense before taking a breath and sticking his hand out to Keith.

“Look, let’s just get this over with.” Lance says, his face steadily growing redder.

Keith looks down at Lance’s open hand and considers it. He slowly raises his own hand and places it into Lance’s.

Lance pulls Keith closer, already moving out onto the ballroom floor. Keith fumbles after him, protests streaming from his lips. They seem to have a silent argument over who is going to lead, but Lance’s experience overrules Keith’s stubbornness. By the time they get settled in, Keith and Lance are gliding across the floor as smoothly as Allura and Coran. Matt’s surprised that they seem so in sync with each other, since he’s sure Keith has never danced a waltz before.

From next to him, Shiro slides back against Matt, his hands easily finding their place. Without a word, they enter back onto the dancefloor themselves.

While their previous dances had been filled with nervous tension (mostly coming from Matt), this time felt more polished. They moved around the other paladins with ease, spinning as Ed Sheeran sang softly above them.

Much like in real life, Matt was comfortable with Shiro taking the lead. The steady hand on Matt’s waist felt like a comforting anchor, and now that the fear of messing up had all but disappeared, Matt didn’t want this to end. He could gladly stay in Shiro’s arms forever, spending eternity waltzing around the castle ballroom.

Matt looks back at Shiro, only to find that Shiro is already looking at him. He has the fondest expression on his face, and it makes Matt falter for a second, a slight misstep in their rhythm.

Shiro pulls Matt closer, looking down to make sure that they’re still on track.

His face is so close to Matt’s, he thinks he’s going to do something stupid.

_Something really stupid like kiss him right in front of everyone_

From above, the music ends.

Matt and Shiro stop, standing in the middle of the ballroom. Faintly, Matt can hear Allura applauding and congratulating everyone, but her words aren’t breaking through the bubble they have around them.

Shiro lets go of Matt’s hand, and Shiro’s wedding ring glistens in the dim light.

“Nice job.” Shiro says softly. “We did great.”

Matt chuckles quietly.

“Yeah, thanks.”

This moment feels different, like they’re both waiting for something to happen, though Matt isn’t sure what.

They’re still standing very close to each other, and Shiro’s hand is still on his waist.

_We’re not actually going to…_

“Well done!” Allura compliments them with a smile. She steps to the left of them, and the bubble is popped.

Shiro’s hand slips away from Matt’s side in a flash.

“Thank you Allura.” Shiro replies. She grins at them.

“I’m sure you two will have no problem with the Vesi if you continue to dance like that.” Matt swears there is a double meaning to her words.

She walks off, as if satisfied with what she said.

In front of him, Shiro steps back.

“I better round the team up for afternoon training.” He says, his eyes not meeting Matt’s.

Matt deflates a bit.

“Right. I’ll see you later then.”

Shiro nods at him before turning away, heading over to talk to his team.

Matt is left standing alone in the middle of the ballroom, disappointed in himself.

He stares at the wedding ring the entire walk back to his room.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much to everyone who commented and subscribed to this fic!! it is an absolute honor to be writing for you guys, and giving my own little addition to the shatt ship <3
> 
> I hope you guys liked the practice! it was hard to keep it from being too cheesy but hopefully I succeeded. hunk has two moms and nobody can take that away from me
> 
> also, this is kind of a fic that doesn’t really correlate to the Voltron timeline? there’s no kuron or lotor, and matt and shiro’s reunion was a much bigger deal than was shown in the show. keith hasn’t met his mom yet, and he’s still with the team as opposed to with the blade. 
> 
> ALSO I know this is a lot of end notes but I had to extend the number of chapters for this!! this chapter was becoming wayyyy too long and I still hadn’t reached the night time Dr. Avon experiment, so you can expect that in the next chapter. once again, thanks to everyone who is enjoying this fic, its awesome to know you guys are reading it. 
> 
> the next chapter will be up within the next week and a half max, if not sooner. see ya’ll soon!!


	3. Chapter 3

Matt wonders if he’s overthinking it.   

Despite the awkward ending in the ballroom, today’s practice had been deemed a success. Allura had assured Matt with a wink that he and Shiro would easily be able to navigate the Gala, and that he had nothing to worry about.

Nothing to worry about.

It was similar to what Pidge had told Matt earlier in the evening. They had barged into his room, still in their training gear and had refused to leave until he told them what was going on.

He had explained his lack of sleep from the night before, and they had rolled with it, lecturing him on how he shouldn’t be so worried about the Gala: it was just one night. For a while, Matt had been convinced Pidge would call him out on his crush. He was sure it was obvious to just about everyone in the castle. (Everyone except for the one person it mattered to the most, of course.) But if they knew, they didn’t push it, only demanding that Matt get some more hours of rest that night.  

“For God’s sakes, stop thinking about the Gala and just sleep Matt.”

Matt doesn’t have the heart to tell them that the Gala isn’t what he’s worried about. It’s Shiro.

To say Shiro had been acting strangely since returning from Vesux’s main city would be an understatement. He had become uncharacteristically quiet during practice, which was the exact event where Matt had assumed his best friend would dedicate himself to their fake marriage the way he would with any mission.

What was different about this mission? Was Matt doing something wrong?

Matt frowned. He didn’t want to touch that idea with a ten-foot pole, especially so close to midnight, but he knew it was a possibility. But Shiro had picked him for a reason. Was Matt not what he expected?

Matt shook his head slightly, doing his best to brush away those thoughts.

It was thinking like this that was going to keep him up tonight.

Matt looked down again, eyes finding where he had left off in his Altean physics book. He was propped up in bed, the lights dimmed and the book in his lap. He had meant to get in some late-night reading before hitting the hay, but he hadn’t made much leeway.

So far, he had only gotten through a handful of pages in the last hour; Much of that slowdown was attributed to how distracted he was.

Just when he thought he could continue reading, his mind would conjure up the image of Shiro’s hurried walk away from him in the ballroom. And then the cycle would start all over again.

Matt rubbed the wedding ring that was still on his left hand.

That was the other distraction he was struggling with. His attention was easily captivated by the simple jewelry resting on his finger. The question plagued his mind: Should he take it off to go to bed?

It was a stupid thing for him to ponder over, but the answer escaped Matt. He knew it was a simple yes or no question, but his hesitation probably came from the fact that deep down, he wanted to say no.

Despite only wearing it for just under 12 hours, he had already become accustomed to the added weight on his hand. Matt was embarrassed to acknowledge even to himself that the ring was nice. It was comforting, and it constantly reminded him of Shiro. Not like his brain needed even more reminding of his crush though.

But was it weird for him to sleep it with? Yeah, Matt thought, he was attached, but was he actually going to keep it on? It would be just as simple to leave it on the nightstand next to his bed.  

Matt was staring at the ring when he heard on a knock on his door. It was gentle, as if the person knocking was unsure as to if he was asleep or not.  

Matt looks up, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He closed the physics book and eyes the door with suspicion. It was midnight, who the hell could it be?

He shuffled out of bed. Standing in the middle of the room, Matt stared intensely at his bedroom door.

Was it Pidge? The two of them had already spent a solid hour earlier talking, were they here to chew him out again? The thought of his younger sibling switching the roles on Matt made his head spin. Pidge had grown up too fast since Matt had gone missing.

From in front of him, there came another knock, a little more insistent.

“The doors open.” Matt said, loud enough for the mystery knocker to hear.

There was a murmur from the other side before the metal door slid open.

“Hey Matt.” Shiro says, sheepish.

He’s dressed in a simple black tee and black pants that leave nothing to the imagination. Matt works to keep eye contact with Shiro’s face. The want to run his eyes up and down Shiro’s body is tempting, but years of living around him has honed Matt’s reflexes. He keeps his eyes steadily trained on Shiro’s face.

“Hi.” Matt replies. Inwardly, he grimaces. _Hi?_ He wants to take a bayard to his own brain. He sounded like an idiot.

Crossing the threshold of Matt’s small living space, Shiro gestures to a tablet that is in his hands. Matt recognizes it as the standard screen everyone in the castle had.

“Lance sent me the questions he remembers from that experiment?” Shiro says, posing his own sentence like a question. He rubs the back of his neck, looking around Matt’s room more than at Matt. “I know it’s late but I thought since there were only a handful of them, we could do them now.”

Matt blinks. He can tell that Shiro is unsure of whether or not this is okay, but Matt doesn’t mind. It wasn’t like he expected to get much sleep tonight away.

From behind Shiro, the door slides shut, effectively isolating them in the room together.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, sure.” He says, before glancing down at himself. While his room wasn’t messy enough to be embarrassed about it (unlike Pidge’s living space), Matt was wearing a dark purple pajama shirt and shorts he had found while digging through the castle. They had the shine of polyester-like clothes, and Coran had explained that they were often used by higher-ranking officials due to the high quality of the garments. Coran had insisted on Matt taking them, saying with a touch of melancholy that someone in the castle ought to use them.

At the time, Matt had thought they were a great find. The garment was a mix of soft comfort and ownership: something that could feel like his in a place where he had few personal belongings.

But now, standing in front of Shiro, Matt just felt like a fool.

Shiro followed Matt’s gaze and his face broke out into a grin. Despite his embarrassment, Matt was glad to make Shiro smile.

“They’re Altean.” Matt explains with a red face, “I was looking for something more comfortable to sleep in at night, and Coran said I could keep them.”

With anyone else, Matt might try to pull off his outfit with a smooth and faux charismatic air, but Shiro had a talent for making him flustered.

“Don’t worry about it. You look great. At least you don’t look like a walking monochrome domino.” Shiro said, looking down at himself.

Matt sees Shiro’s comment as an opening to get him more settled in. He doesn’t want to trigger the flight response Shiro seems to constantly be on the edge of these days, so he opts for an easier conversation topic.

“I actually wanted to ask you about that.” He says, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

Shiro’s eyebrows raise in question at his sentence.

Matt pats the spot next to him on the sheets. He panics for a second, wondering if maybe with Shiro’s recent quietness, it’s too forward.

But Shiro expresses no hesitation and takes a seat right next to Matt.

Matt clears his throat.

_Shit, this bed isn’t as big as I thought it was_

“Your hair.” He says, pointing at the poof of white at the forefront of Shiro’s head. “When we get back to Earth one day, you think you’ll keep it?”

Shiro blinks a couple times, surprised by Matt’s line of questioning. He takes his time to think. Matt’s sure Shiro had never thought of this before, though he doesn’t blame him. Who has time to think about that kinda stuff in the middle of an intergalactic war?

“I… don’t know.” Shiro says, touching his hair. Matt wonders if it’s as soft as it looks.

“I never really thought about it. I know it’s kind of weird to say this because I got it from the Galra,” begrudging amusement flashes across Shiro’s face, “but I’ve gotten pretty attached to the white.”

He laughs.

“Adds a bit of personality you know?”

Matt scoffs at the comment, which makes Shiro look at him with confusion. Matt huffs a sigh.

“You say that as if you have no personality without the hair.” Matt says, slightly offended. How dare Shiro say that about himself when he had been one of the most popular instructors back home. Every cadet had loved him, and he was easily the most talented pilot to ever join the Galaxy Garrison.

_Okay maybe I’m a little biased but still_

“In reality, you’re one of the most interesting people I know.”

Shiro’s face darkens a bit, though Matt thinks it might be a trick of the light.

“Thanks.” Shiro says.

“No problem.” Matt replies.

The two of them sit for a bit, each lost in their own thoughts. While he has no clue what Shiro is thinking, Matt wonders how the rest of this will go. The quiet shyness he had become accustomed to at practice earlier today still lingers around Shiro, though it seems to disappear the more they talk. Matt might guess that being alone made Shiro more comfortable with talking about sensitive and intimate topics.

He wonders how much tougher it might have been for Shiro to go through practice than it was for Matt.  

Shiro lifts his legs up onto Matt’s bed, positioning his body so that it’s facing Matt’s direction. He crosses his legs and begins to swipe around on the tablet screen.

Matt mirrors Shiro’s movements. They were ready to begin.

“Lance’s message said that he didn’t want to half-ass the questions, so that’s why there is only five of them.” Shiro explains, handing the screen over to Matt. “He wanted to send us ones he remembers completely so that we could have an honest and accurate conversation, albeit a little short.”

Matt nods, quickly reading down the small list of questions Lance had sent. He reigns in his shock at how quickly the questions got intense. If he was doing this with a stranger, there was no way he would give honest answers. But luckily, it’s with Shiro, which means they already know each other’s secrets, why not add some depressing truth to the mix too?

Matt hands the tablet back to Shiro. Their fingers brush against each other during the exchange, and Matt suddenly becomes very aware of how close they’re sitting.

Shiro shifts, moving to get comfortable on top of the sheets. Matt watches as he runs a hand through his hair, and the glint of metal there makes Matt’s breath catch.

_Holy shit. He’s still wearing the ring._

So Matt wasn’t insane for not immediately taking the ring off when he got back from practice. That was good to know. It soothed his fears that he was taking it all too far. In his mind, it was easy to overthink and blow things out of proportions. But there sat Shiro, unknowingly minimizing Matt’s fears without uttering a single word.

“Alright,” Shiro starts, bringing Matt back from his thoughts, “so, I just wanna make sure, you’re okay with this right?”

“What?” Matt asks, baffled. This was not the line of questioning he was expecting to begin with. “Yeah, of course.”

“Okay.” Shiro huffs a laugh. “I was just checking.”

Matt sighs with what he’s sure is too much affection in his voice.

“You’re too nice Shiro.”

His best friend smiles at him, and Matt just confirms to himself once again that he is truly a goner for Shiro.

“Thanks Matt.” He replies quietly. Then, he straightens his posture before looking back down at the pad.

“I guess I’ll just start us off then. First question: For what in your life do you feel most grateful?”

Matt looks up at his ceiling, trying to think. The question seemed almost comically easy to answer.

“I’m grateful that none of us are dead.” He states. He feels Shiro’s eyes on him, but Matt just looks to another side of the room.

“I mean, with what’s been going on and what we’ve been through? I’m just glad that everyone is okay. I was really worried about you and Dad, but getting confirmation that both of you guys were alive… I bawled like a baby.” Matt laughs softly. “Of course, I have to worry about Pidge now, but at least they’re here, where I can keep my eye on them.”

Shiro nods, soaking in Matt’s answer. Matt is aware his answer is on the short side, but it’s accurate to his feelings. Every time the team went out on a mission or formed Voltron, ‘Please let them come back alive’ repeated in his head like a mantra.

“Mine is pretty similar.” Shiro says, looking back down at the screen.

“I’m glad that no one has died under my leadership. Being the oldest and being the head of Voltron… I feel like I’m responsible for everyone, and it’d be my fault if something happened.” Despite the depressing topic, Shiro smiles lightly.

“And I know it’s kinda biased to say it, but I’m really grateful Keith is doing okay. The rest of the team is family at this point, but Keith has been my brother for a long time, and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to him.”

The room is filled with silence, the weight of their answers hanging in the air above them.

Matt huffs a sigh.

“I saw the other questions.” He says. “This is gonna get into some deep shit. You sure you want to keep going?”

Shiro nods, determination in his eyes. It’s a look that Matt has seen a thousand times, that told him Shiro was ready to do whatever needed to be done.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

He hands the tablet over to Matt, who quickly rests it on his lap.

“We can alternate.” Shiro explains. “Give each other a chance to switch between being first to answer.”

Matt nods in understanding.

“Good idea. Okay, question 2: If you could wake up tomorrow having one ability, what would it be?”

The room grows quiet again, in a pattern that Matt is sure will occur after each question. He lets Shiro think about his answer, while thinking of his own.

He assumes ability would mean something akin to a superpower. The first thing that pops into Matt’s head is invisibility. Matt had wanted invisibility for the longest time when he was kid, since he knew it would hide him from the bullies who saw him as an easy target. Of course, that wish hadn’t come true, and instead he had enrolled in self-defense classes. But while the ability to fight back had stopped the physical bullying, it didn’t stop the teasing.

It was hard growing up with a special interest the way Matt had. He had grown up listening to his dad’s work stories and looking up at the stars, knowing there was so much he could do out in space. In the end, Matt had managed to find friends who didn’t mind his constant talk about the universe, but they had taken years to accumulate.

But now Matt had Shiro and the team, and they were all he needed. So invisibility was out of the question.

“I think I’d want a healing power.” Shiro says in front of him.

“Healing?” Matt asks.

“I figured that the arm is kind of an ability itself.” At the mention of the Galra tech, Shiro moves the arm in front of him, staring at his palm. “So the stereotypical strength is kind of redundant.”

“But then I got thinking about how I don’t need a power that’s an offense thing; I’d want one that’s more defensive. I know the castle has healing tech infinitely more advanced than what we have on Earth but being able to heal myself and anyone else out during battle would be a big advantage. Like a couple months ago when Keith broke his leg while fighting. It took him a lot longer to get back to his lion using me as a crutch than if I could just heal him on the spot.”

Matt smiles as the idea. He thinks it’s revealing of Shiro’s character that he wouldn’t pick a power like strength or speed. Even in an alternate world where they could have abilities, he was focusing on the benefit he could do to others, not just himself.

Shiro looks at Matt, a slight smile on his face.

“What about you?” He asks.

“It’s like…” Matt trails off, struggling to find the words for the power he picked.

“I’d want to control objects with my mind. Like, in the movie Mathilda, where she can just think and all of the objects move and stuff? That’s what I would want to do, a sort of manipulation of physical reality. It would save us a lot of hurt on missions if I could stop whatever danger is coming towards us with my mind. It’s kind like the offensive power to your defensive one. Rather than heal the arrow wound, I’d make it so the arrow doesn’t hit its mark in the first place.”

Shiro stares at him in awe, and it makes Matt blush under his gaze. It wasn’t like Matt had picked a particularly cool superpower, like time travel or control of the elements. But Shiro still seemed stunned nonetheless.

“We’d be unstoppable.” Shiro says almost reverently, and it makes Matt bark out a laugh, startling his best friend from whatever fantasy world he was imagining.

“If only.” Matt says. “I’d like to see the look on Zarkon’s face if he watched us singlehandedly take down his entire army.”

“Yeah.” Shiro agrees, still smiling at him.

Matt takes the moment as his cue to hand the tablet back to Shiro. So far they were doing pretty good. But they had three more questions to go, and Matt knew it would get really personal from here on out.

“Number three.” Shiro says. “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your future or anything else, what would you want to know?”

“If we win.” Matt blurts out, before he freezes.

Shiro stares at him, his face unreadable. Matt scrambles to explain.

“Like, if we win the war. I know that’s a really messy and scary thing to know the outcome of, but the uncertainty terrifies me more.”

Matt can feel himself digging into the dark well of thoughts he had about their situation. These were the thoughts he pushed away when he was having dark nights, but they were suddenly bubbling, bursting onto the surface.

“I know we might lose, no matter how confident we may pretend to be. There is, statistically, always a chance, even if it’s 0.01%, that we’ll lose. But at least I would know, you know? And yeah, it would definitely shake my confidence if I found out we’re going to lose, but that doesn’t mean I would leave the team. If we’re going to die then I would at least want to take out as many of those assholes as I can.”

Matt takes a deep breath before continuing.

“And on the other hand,” Matt says, “imagine if the crystal ball told me we’re going to win. Could you imagine the, the weight? That would be lifted off of all our shoulders? We would have this absolutely certain thing that we’re working towards, fighting towards, and I know that even if it’s just for me, that would be a treasure trove of never-ending encouragement. Even in a tough spot, where I think I’m going to die, I’d keep going because I know that in the end, we’d win.”

Matt catches his breath, leaning into the pause that his impromptu rant gives him. He re-crosses his legs on the bed and looks ahead towards Shiro.

“Good answer.” He says quietly, and Matt lets out the softest of laughs.

“Thanks.”

Despite the slight ramble that he went on, Matt thinks that his answer is actually rather simplistic. War with the Galra was something he thought about every day. If somehow, he could ease his worries by knowing the outcome, even if it was a bad one, then he would. Maybe Shiro found that stupid, like it was taking too much of a risk on what you hoped the outcome would be versus what it really was. But Matt had been living in the war for years now, and it was taking a toll on him and his mental health. He wanted nothing more than the war to be over.

_Mom will probably slap a therapist at me the second we get back to Earth. Not that she’d be wrong to do it, we’re all gonna need therapy after this._

In front of him, Shiro clears his throat.

“I…” He trails off, hesitant in a way that paralleled his actions at practice. He struggles with his words, and Matt almost wants to reach out and steady him. He’s about ready to tell Shiro to take his time when Shiro spits out his answer.

“I’d want to make sure I’m a good person.”

Matt’s heart shatters.

“Wha—”

“I’ve killed people Matt.” Shiro says, as if anticipating Matt’s reply. Matt looks into Shiro’s eyes and sees a lifetime of pain reflected back at him.  

“In that arena, I played the part they wanted me to play, a bloodthirsty killer in a rage. But at least I could justify all that as killing in self-defense.” Shiro looks down at his hands, which are clenched in tight fists.

“But then they put this weapon on me, replacing a part of me with a part of them. They changed who I am. And even if I could get rid of it one day, replace it with a different prosthetic or something, I’m still never going to get it back. I feel like they took part of my humanity with them.”

Shiro’s voice cracks at ‘humanity’.

“I’ve worked so hard to be good, especially after escaping from them. I work to be a good leader for the team, and I always work to do the right thing.”

“But they did something to me Matt, in here.” He points to his head. “They messed up my brain so much more than what they did to my body. When--, When we had Sendak in a cryopod, after he attacked the castle, I started interrogating him by myself. I wanted answers. And even though I could see his mouth closed, I could hear him taunting me, like he was inside my mind. Even though I had been out of Galra hands for months, they were still in my head. It was driving me mad.”

Shiro lowers his face away from him, avoiding eye contact with Matt. Matt’s frozen in his seat, unable to say anything.

“It wasn’t the castle malfunction that sent his cryopod into space, it was me. I ejected him from the castle because I couldn’t stand hearing his voice in my mind. And that wasn’t the only time. I still wake up every other night, drenched in sweat because of nightmares. I can hear that arena crowd cheering for me, calling me Champion. Or I can see Haggar standing above, playing with me like I’m her toy.”

“I’ve never felt more out of control in my life. Sometimes, I wonder why Black even lets me pilot her anymore.”

That sentence is the last straw for Matt.

He lunges forward, getting in Shiro’s personal space. Matt grabs both of his shoulders, clutching them tightly.

“Shiro.” He says, throwing every ounce of conviction he has into his words. “You. Are. Good.”

Shiro looks up, finally locking eyes with Matt. He knows that he has to make these next words count.

“Listen to me, please. What those monsters did to you is not your fault, and it doesn’t make you anything like them. You did what you had to do to survive, and there is nothing wrong with that. They are evil for putting you through that, for torturing you.”

Matt takes a second to take a deep breath before continuing.

“Takashi.” He lets the name linger in the air for a bit. “You and I both know that healing from this is not going to be easy. I didn’t go through half of the shit that you did, and I know I’ve got some form of PTSD. But just because that pain is still there does not mean you’re bad. You are healing every single day that you get up out of bed. You’re healing when you’re being a kind leader, when you’re being caring for your brother, when you listen to your best friend ramble.”

“It’s going to take work and a lot of time to heal. You experiencing your trauma doesn’t mean you’re evil, it means you’re human. And even if you think you’re broken, that doesn’t mean you’re bad. Black picks you to pilot her. She makes that decision every time you step inside, over and over again. She knows you’re good, just like I do. And I will gladly remind you of your innate worthiness and humanity every day for the rest of my life if it means you never question yourself like this again.”

Matt sees tears welling up in Shiro’s eyes.

_Fuck it._

Matt pulls Shiro in for a hug.

Despite the thin black shirt he’s wearing, Shiro is as warm as ever. Matt slips his hands down to rub small circles into Shiro’s back. He can feel his breath on his neck, and Matt’s nose is tucked into Shiro’s hair. He squeezes, using the pressure as a comforting gesture. He feels Shiro squeeze back.

They stay like that for a few minutes, just breathing and letting the tension in the air slowly sink away. Matt pulls away first, his back already sore from the awkward position he put himself in to hug Shiro.

Shiro lets go of him almost reluctantly before rubbing his hands over his face.

“Thanks Matt.” He says, voice still a bit shaky. He doesn’t say more, but Shiro doesn’t need to. Knowing each other for so long, Matt can hear what his friend isn’t saying.

“No problem buddy.” He replies with a warm smile.

Matt picks up the tablet from where it had fallen between their crossed legs. He pretends to fidget with the screen, giving Shiro enough time to recover from the previous question. Matt knows Shiro would have given him the same courtesy.

When he thinks he’s ready, Matt sends Shiro a look, asking if they can continue. He receives a firm nod in response.

“4: When did you last cry in front of another person? When did you last cry by yourself?”

Shiro laughs in front of him, a striking juxtaposition from a minute ago.

“Well, I almost just cried in front of you.” He says, causing Matt to laugh along with him.

“But the real last time I cried in front of another person, was probably when Pidge brought you back to the castle. When they sent a message through the comms saying they had picked up someone important, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. But then you walked out of their lion, and I was just so relieved to know you were alive.”

Matt feels his eyes water a tiny bit as Shiro describes the moment. The genuine emotion in his friend’s words are getting to him. He hopes Shiro doesn’t notice.

“The last time I cried when I was alone…. I have no clue. I never really work myself up into crying when I’m alone, I usually cry when their is someone else there.”

Matt nods, processing Shiro’s words. Shiro rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, light bouncing off the ring still on his finger. Matt fidgets with his own.

“What about you?” He asks, directing the attention onto Matt.

Matt lets out a small laugh, which seems to confuse Shiro.

“Well, the last time I cried in front of someone was also when we were reunited.” Matt explains. “I had cried when I saw Pidge of course, but when I saw you standing there, alive, the waterworks just started up again.”

“The last time I cried by myself was… probably a couple of weeks ago.”

Matt knows the sentence is exposing more about himself than he’d like, but he was determined to be honest. If he couldn’t be as honest as possible to Shiro, then there wasn’t any point to doing this.

“It was after the return mission to Zentama, when you guys were ambushed. That’s the worst I’ve seen everyone get hurt. Hunk was in cryo for almost a week. Lance threw himself into training like never before. I couldn’t get Pidge to smile for the first few days afterwards, and I don’t think I heard Keith speak in front of me till after Hunk was released from his pod. You and Allura were killing yourselves trying to make sure something like that never happened again.”

Matt could feel himself tearing up more at the reminder of how much his friends would continually sacrifice for the universe.

“In the middle of all that, you just feel hopeless, you know? And on the third day of recovery, I hadn’t spoken to anyone all day, and my mind went to this really dark place, and—”

Matt doesn’t continue, hoping that Shiro can understand without explaining more.

His eyes are looking down, so he doesn’t expect it when Shiro pulls him into a hug.

“Come to me.” Shiro says, his words muffled against the nape of Matt’s neck.

“Anytime you’re feeling like that, tell me. Our friendship goes two ways; I’m here for you too.”

Matt doesn’t reply, he just squeezes Shiro, who squeezes in return before pulling away.

“Man,” Matt says, trying to subtly rub his eyes, “could you imagine going through 30 more questions like these?”

Shiro laughs at the idea.

Matt hands the tablet back over to Shiro, who takes it and looks down to read the last question.

Even in the dim light, Matt can see Shiro’s face light up in a blushing red. This is the only time Matt is sure it’s a real blush, it’s too prominent to be anything else. There’s a long pause, and suddenly Matt is racking his brain trying to remember what the last question is. Shiro saves him from thinking too long.

“I-If you were to die today with no way to communicate with anyone, what do you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t y-you told them yet?”

Shiro clears his throat loudly after reading the sentence.

Meanwhile, Matt’s brain has pressed the panic button.

If he looked at the question objectively, the answer was effortless: He would regret not having told Shiro his feelings. But he couldn’t say that as his answer _to Shiro_. He knew he was being a coward to not tell his friend, but it never felt like the right time. And of course, Matt also had to admit that he was scared things would change. If Shiro kindly turned him down and things went back to normal, he could handle that. But his overactive anxiety-ridden imagination could all too easily picture Shiro avoiding him. Their friendship would deteriorate and the team dynamic would suffer.

There was just too much at stake for him to tell Shiro now. Matt had waited a few years, he could wait till the war was over.

He just prayed they lived long enough to see that.

_Quick, come up with something safe and believable_

“My parents.” Matt blurts out. He doesn’t look at Shiro, knowing his eyes might betray the fact that he’s lying. “I’d just, tell them I love them and thank them for everything I guess. I didn’t come home a lot when I was at the Garrison, and we’ve been in space for so long, I’d regret like, not spending more time with them.”

It’s true. Matt missed having his family surrounding him, so he wasn’t technically lying. He did regret not coming home enough when he was still on Earth. It just wasn’t his number one regret.

Shiro nods, quiet.

Matt expects him to give an answer similar to Matt’s, about missing something from Earth. And maybe that is what Shiro says, but it’s not like Matt could understand.

“馬鹿だからまだゆつてないけど: 私は友達の兄とデートしたい. 長い時間この気持ちは心の中に住んでいる. 今日死んだら, その気持ちをつたいたいです.”

Shiro’s face is beet red by the time he’s finished his sentence. Meanwhile, Matt’s mind is racing with questions.

Why did Shiro feel the need to say his regret in Japanese? What is something he didn’t want Matt to know? Other than Matt’s crush on Shiro, he had never kept a secret from his best friend. Was this a secret, or something Shiro was just embarrassed to admit? What could he possibly be so embarrassed about that he couldn’t tell Matt?

Matt had never fully grasped Japanese, but his ears could pick out the words “idiot”, “me” and “today”. He’s aware that those words are no help to him out of context and he wants to go back in time and tell his younger self to shut the subtitles off on his anime and just learn the language.

“O-okay.” Matt says hesitantly, unsure as of how to continue.

“Sorry.” Shiro says, having the kindness to look apologetic. “It’s my real regret, but it’s really embarrassing.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Matt says, waving it off. He wants to call Shiro out on how unfair that is, but he supposes it’s technically within the rules of the experiment. It’s not like Matt had been entirely truthful with his answer either.

Shiro turns to face the edge of the bed and sets the tablet behind him.

Matt expects for their conversation to end here. They had answered all of the questions Lance had sent, so any minute now, Shiro was going to say goodnight and leave.

Maybe Matt’s losing his sense of what to expect from Shiro these days because that isn’t what happens.

In front of him, Shiro starts to get fidgety, fingers playing with the sheets that he’s sitting on. Just like last night, it looks like there is more he wants to say, but Matt’s not sure he’ll get the words out.

He decides to try and lighten the conversation.

“How does Lance even know these questions anyway?” Matt asks. He leans back, letting his body fall back onto the soft bed beneath him.

Above him, Shiro laughs, thought it sounds a bit off. While still genuinely amused, it has a nervous edge to it that worries Matt.

He considers asking Shiro what’s wrong, but experience has taught him Shiro will rarely answer him unless he’s already made up his mind to do so. So Matt waits. He isn’t uncomfortable in the silence, mostly because of the company.

He’s starting to get a bit sleepy when Shiro finally clears his throat. Matt lifts his head up to make eye contact with his friend and pulls himself back into a sitting position.

“Allura pulled me aside after training today.” Shiro says. “She said she wanted to tell me something about the Vesi in private.”

Matt is immediately intrigued. Something the princess thought was important enough to tell Shiro away from the team? This was either something very good or very bad.

“Basically, she explained that the Vesi are really… touchy-feely with their ‘mates.’ They’re constantly doing this movement where they press their cheeks together and their antennae together at the same time. It’s their version of, uh, kissing.”

Matt refuses to let any emotion other than interested curiosity cross his face in an effort to avoid scaring off Shiro. On the inside, his brain cells are inching closer and closer to once again hitting the panic button.

“She said that the Vesi will most likely expect a similar gesture from us as proof of a strong bond between us.”

There’s a long, pregnant pause.

“She ordered us to practice kissing didn’t she.” Matt says, the statement echoing through the quiet room.

Shiro puts his face in his hands, an aura of embarrassment and apologies radiating off of him in waves.

Matt began to laugh.

He knew that interpreted the wrong way, laughing in this moment might seem cruel. But honestly, the hilarity of the situation had overtaken him. The Shiro he knew was usually so sure of himself, and smoothly rolled with any punches life could throw at him. But of the many missions he had been assigned to, this was the one that made him an adorable, flustered mess. Matt felt grateful that he was able to witness this side of Shiro, softer than he had seen him be in a long time. It was relieving to know that the quiet Shiro of their Garrison days was still in there under the Galra Champion, Black Lion Pilot, Voltron Leader and Defender of the Universe exterior.

When he looks back at Shiro, Matt does his best to explain.

“How, _christ,_ how is this our lives?” He says with giggles, watching as a smile peaks out from between Shiro’s hands.

“I know.” Shiro says with exasperation. He uncovers his face, the red hue across his cheeks evident.

“Allura said that since they know nothing of our culture, the Vesi would accept it if we act like it’s in our nature to be prude and private about those kinds of things. But we won’t be able to get out of it until we’ve kissed at least two or three times while we’re there.”

“Makes sense.” Matt replies, clinging to the logical side of what Shiro is saying so he doesn’t freak out.

_What kind of aliens-made-them-do-it star trek fanfic bullshit is this_

Shiro uncrosses his legs and tosses them over the edge of Matt’s bed. He scoots closer. Matt feels like he’s barely keeping himself from shutting down right then and there.

 “We can take it easy.” Shiro says, though the sentence sounds less like it’s aimed towards Matt and more like it’s aimed towards Shiro himself.

Copying Shiro’s movement, Matt swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands up. He rotates so that he’s facing Shiro and grabs at his hands, urging his friend to stand up as well.

Shiro follows Matt’s request, confusion dominating his face.

“Close your e-eyes.” Matt says, putting as much conviction into his voice as he can muster. Shiro obliges, eyes fluttering shut.

Matt’s heart is pounding. He was never the one to take initiative like this; Shiro had always been the leader between the two of them. But with the hesitation and nervousness that followed all of Shiro’s actions recently, Matt thought it was worth it to try and ease the pressure off of Shiro as much as possible.

He takes his time, which gives him the benefit of both studying Shiro’s face and working up his nerve. Matt can see the now permanent red coloring on Shiro’s cheeks, and it makes him look like an angel. Shiro stands tall, shoulders straight, and with his lips barely parted so that he can breathe.

Matt has to look away from Shiro’s mouth before steam blows out of his ears. That was the one place that he would be avoiding.

He shifts closer, completely inside of Shiro’s personal space.

The only thing Matt can hear is his heart beat echoing in his ears.

He gently presses his lips against Shiro’s cheek.

He hears a sharp intake of breath next to his ear, but Shiro doesn’t move. Matt sets a hand on Shiro’s shoulder, hoping it eases his best friend’s anxiety. He moves away from the cheek, eyeing where his lips had made contact. So far, so good.

Matt stands on his tiptoes, one hand instinctively moving to cup Shiro’s face. He lingers while he can before he kisses his forehead. It’s a feather light touch, tentative and sweet. Matt prays to whatever higher being is out there that he’s doing this right. It fills Matt’s heart to the brim that Shiro trusts him enough to do this.

He backs away a little bit, studying Shiro’s face again. Matt wants to get in one more kiss before backing away. Three was a safe number, and he had to make this one count. He checks his options before his eyes zero in on the one place that he knows will either make or break this moment.

Slowly, Matt leans in and kisses the scar across Shiro’s nose.

Shiro makes a soft noise, almost like a choked sob, and Matt pulls away instantly, checking to see if he had done something wrong. But Shiro is still standing there, eyes shut, though his breathing has risen to that of a faster pace.

Matt backs away, letting his arms fall from Shiro’s face, and moving a safe two feet away before he speaks.

“Y-you can open your eyes.” Matt says, his voice hoarse.

Shiro’s eyes open, and they stare straight ahead for a few seconds as if disoriented before they move to looking at Matt.

“Simple.” Matt says, hoping to appear casual. He applauds his ability to not be smiling like a nerd at the moment because he just kissed Shiro’s face three times.

“That’s a good start.” Shiro says. He scratches the back of his head and looks down, before returning to make eye contact with Matt. “I guess it’s my turn.”

Suddenly, Matt feels like Shiro’s nervousness has transferred into his own body. Matt trusts Shiro with his life. It’s himself that he doesn’t trust not to fuck this up.

“Oh, uh—”

“Close your eyes.”

It’s a command that Matt follows instinctually. His eyes close, and suddenly his other four senses are hyper aware of what’s going on.

He can hear Shiro shuffle closer, minimizing the distance Matt had put between them. The heat radiating off of Shiro washes over him.

Cold metal and skin touch him, and he tries his best not to flinch at the unexpected contact. Both hands cup his face delicately, like if Shiro presses too hard, he’ll break Matt.

The hands leave as quickly as they came, but not before his right check feels the peck of lips against his skin.

Matt wishes he had the courage to tell Shiro that he can linger. He wants to savor this while he can, when there is no one around except them.

He soon receives another kiss on his forehead, warmth and kindness filling the gesture. So far, they were doing rather well.

Matt preps himself for the final nose kiss, assuming Shiro was following the precedent Matt had set a minute earlier.

His heart stops when he feels a pair of lips press against the corner of his mouth.

Matt’s eyes flutter open involuntarily, and he’s astonished at how close Shiro is. He hears himself let out a sigh, one he knows is filled with longing. He hopes Shiro can’t hear the wishes scattered inside it.

_Do that again. Please._

For someone who was determined not to tell Shiro about his crush, Matt was really pushing it.

Matt watches as Shiro’s eyes snap open, and he realizes with a start that Shiro’s eyes had been closed too.

As much as Matt is basking in what’s happened in the last few minutes, he quickly grows concerned. Shiro is staring at him, still as a statue. Matt is saying it before he can stop himself.

“Takashi?”

The calling of his name, his first name nonetheless, seems to snap him out of whatever trance he was in, and suddenly Shiro is a whirlwind.

“I, um, I should probably, _shit_ —”

Shiro scrambles to collect himself, grabbing the tablet from Matt’s bed in a hurry.

“I’m really tired, I should go.” He says, refusing to look at Matt and heading towards the door.

“Um, thanks. Goodnight Matt.”

The door slides shut, and he’s gone.

Matt stands in the middle of his bedroom, feeling lost, and like he’s experience the end of the waltz dancing all over again.

What had just happened? Had Matt done something wrong? Or was Shiro just overwhelmed?

Matt feels his legs give out, and he falls to the floor, his mind racing.

Matt admits that he feels a little offended that Shiro would run from him like that. But then again, if Matt had done the same thing, and gone in for a side kiss, he probably would have run away too.

He tries to remind himself to go easy on Shiro. The last couple days had his friend off balance, and this whole event in Matt’s bedroom was just another experience that had thrown them both off.

So even though he had a million questions, Matt let them go. Instead, he focused on trying to eternalize the feeling of Shiro’s kisses on his face.

He brings his hand up to his mouth and closes his eyes. If he thinks hard enough, he can feel the ghost of Shiro’s lips pressing against his.

Matt groaned.

He knew he had promised Pidge he’d get some rest, but they couldn’t have predicted this. They couldn’t have known that Matt was going to basically show his hand to his crush. By this point, Matt is astounded that Shiro hasn’t called him out on it yet. His best friend was either oblivious, or too kind, and Matt can’t decide which option is worse.

Matt picks himself up to crawl into bed, knowing that at this point, the only thing he could try and do was sleep. He wasn’t going to get anywhere sitting on the ground anyway.

(It takes him a few hours to go to bed, just like he had predicted.

But the last thought that runs through Matt’s mind before he goes under is that he never actually took the ring off.)  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much happened here!! thank for bearing with me everyone, i hope this chapter does not disappoint. 
> 
> matt and shiro have now shared their first kisses with each other, and things are as messy as they can be. these boys are oblivious disasters and i love them haha. i would love to translate shiro's regret for you guys, but it's pretty spoilery. i am half-japanese myself, so the kanji and hiragana is pretty accurate. you can goggle translate it, but it's not a perfect translation. i will post the full translation at the end notes of the whole fic. 
> 
> once again, a reminder that this is unbeta'd, so any mistakes are entirely my own! I will see you all in the next chapter! (i'm applying the same time frame for the next one: maximum wait time is a bout a week and a half) 
> 
> ALSO, I'm on tumblr at how-are-you-so-perfect-dear. Feel free to come chat with me!


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